Anorak | Heather Mills’ Cows Come Home

Heather Mills’ Cows Come Home

by | 31st, July 2007

heather-mills.jpg HEATHER Mills, baby oil enthusiast and pogo-ing pro-celebrity ballroom dancer, is on the Mail’s front page.

Heather is not smiling. She is offering the world a bald-eyed stare with a hint of sneer. “Cows?” asks the headline. “Not in MY rural backyard, insists heather the veggie.”

Mills wants to buy fields adjoining her new £3million home in the Home Counties. The Mail is no more specific, doubtless concerned that Mills will be swamped by fans.

But there are clues to the location of this homestead. It borders land owned by John and Barbara Smith. They share their home with a number of Devon-born heifers. Mrs Smith tells us: “We were told that initially she didn’t like looking at the cows on our land because she is a vegetarian.”

So she will buy the land and the cows will be sold off for slaughter. Or Heather could adopt the beasts and train them to guard the land. The paper says Mills has concerns over privacy and security. Hell, forget the cows. Heather should lace her

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Posted: 31st, July 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink