Global Warming: Bonfire Night Is Cancelled
THE Mail waits. And when the waiting pays off there is much jubilation, and a headline: “Bonfire night is cancelled …to help save the planet.”
The suspiration points are important. They are interchangeable with “…says PC Brigade”; “…Papists rejoice”; “…fear over Bulgarian wood!”
It has been decreed that those paying £4 in the hope of watching the effigy of a Roman Catholic tossed atop a bonfire at Slough Borough Council’s so will be disappointed.
Sure there will be the fireworks but unless a smokeless fire can be arranged, Guy Fawkes will live.
As will the Asian Elvis, unless the crowd grow restless and demand make a stand for tradition…
Posted: 19th, October 2007 | In: Global Warming, Tabloids Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- leesmith on Michelle Obama Is A Monkey And Other Offensive Google Images
- magnetite on Church Gives Soul Tattoos To Worshippers
- Evie Walton on Peter Andre ‘Begs’ Katie Price To Come Home
- yampster on The Chilcot Inquiry Into The Iraq War, In Pictures
- yampster on Join The Campaign For Straight Gay Marriages
October 20th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Pig?
October 20th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Fireworks are great. All explosives should be available for civillian use.
Speaking of which, how many Co2’s are given off by British Artillery in Iraq? more than all your annual bonfires. Yeah!! /let’s all celibrate guy fawkes. Not the burning of a Catholic, but his valiant attempt to blow those fools right out of parliament. We could do with him right now.
October 20th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Why don’t we chuck a live donkey off the church tower instead? Show some solidarity with the Iberians.
October 20th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Know what you mean Karen.
Fireworks started here last weekend (end of Ramadan). Will continue now through Halloween, and Bonfire night. And after that we have Diwalhi celebrations 9th Nov. Firework season in Birmingham now seems to last a minimum of one month - bit of a pain for us dog owners!
October 20th, 2007 at 12:46 am
spot the brain cell on anorak forums and win an i pod
October 19th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Burn Lardy Burn, it’s a disco inferno!
October 19th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
How is wanting to burn fat people racist mr softy? Then you launch a barrage of racist commentary yourself. How bizarre you are. We have already guessed you’re fat
October 19th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Nah, rabies is better
October 19th, 2007 at 6:16 pm
VIVA, how about you burn yourself in a bonfire?
October 19th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
So Anorak want to burn fat people? could you be more specific as to race of the fat people as your clearly a prejudiced racist so please clarify the race of the fat people you and your site would like to burn ….or is it just the fat of the whole world? I personally suggest foul toothed ugly and stupid Brits…and Germans(they got it coming) are the best for burning, and the French for eating as they have been pickled so long in sour attitude they should taste good fried.
October 19th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Did Guy Fawkes have a dog?
October 19th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
You have useless dog that should be burned in the wood pile with the hedge hogs. A dog afraid of noise is a flawed dog often like its owner. Scared people make scared dogs. So your really saying your scared of the fireworks.
VIVA
October 19th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
I hate fireworks because my dog is terrified. I’m lucky, in that she recovers about 30 minutes after the noise stops (she’s a very confident animal) but I have friends whose dogs don’t go out for months and in our area once the fireworks start on Halloween (not bonfire night) they don’t stop till after New Year.
I hate bonfires because hedgehogs and other animals crawl into the wood piles and get burned. I dealt with about 10 hedgehogs last year who had been found crawling out of the fires, 8 either died or had to be put down, and the other 2 wont be able to go back into the wild.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
Can we burn fat people?
October 19th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Ban fireworks?? Oh come on, does anyone really need 10 fingers and two eyes these days?
Oh wait… I do!
Never mind!
October 19th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Oh bugger, was hoping they had banned the fireworks