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Alan Johnson’s Fit Towns For Purpose

by | 1st, November 2007

“’FIT towns’ plan to tackle child obesity.” So says the Guardian’s front-page headline. “Proposals for 10 healthy eco cities.”

It is the work of Health Secretary Alan Johnson’s assault on the twin evils of climate change and fat people. Fat Climate will eradicate both.

Before we go on, it is clear that Mr Johnson MP, believes that we the electorate spend the day thinking about climate change and fat. These are his prime concerns so they must be ours. He is, of course, correct, althogh we are too fat and stupid to realise it and thank him. One day we will.

Says the Guardian: “Practical measures in new healthy towns being considered by ministers include:

• Regular weigh-ins for children starting as they leave primary school, including the recording of body mass indexes
• Increasing the number of cycle lanes
• Programmes in schools to inspire children to eat healthily, avoid fast food outlets, learn to cook and play sport from a young age
• Ensuring GP practices are on the high street so more people can use them

Indeed, dear readers, the plan is to turn towns into real life versions of Celebrity Fat Camp. Thanks to the predominance of CCTV, we are each of us a celebrity, caught on camera many times a day. And soon we will live like Anne Diamond  (Fat TV woman), Bill Giles (Fat weatherman) and John Prescott.

Chuck in some dance classes, an ice-rink and Gordon Ramsay and you have the reality TV show to end them all…



Posted: 1st, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink