Britney Spears: On Whom The Staff Tell

“INSIDE Britney’s MAD MAD world,” says the Mirror’s front page. “BY THE WOMAN CLOSEST TO HER.”

The woman is, naturally, Kalie Machado, who for three months was Britney’s assistant. One may wonder if Machado remains the woman closest to Britney or if La Spears has moved on and hired more staff?

Ms Machado knows. But first she has a Serve ‘n’ Tell to deliver. (It was to have been a Kiss ‘n’ Tell but the Mirror tells us that the kiss Machado and Spears shared in Las Vegas was “staged” and a “mock” kiss.)

With Machado’s guiding hand, we move inside Britney’s Malibu mansion, past the wedding dress that hangs in a case on the wall. We go upstairs and hear Britney crying herself to sleep “night after night”.

“She was incredibly sad and lonely while I was with her,” says Machado.

But what of Kevin Federline? The Rapping Rodent had just left the family abode when Machado arrived. Britney wanted him back. She kept all this clothes. She would walk in and possibly smell them.

How Britney must have wanted to bottle the K-Ferret odour. With its heady low notes of baseball cap and tartar and top notes of exhaust fumes and vest, Rappa would have complimented Britney’s own signature perfumes. Sold in a bottle shaped like a pair of buck teeth, Rappa would have made some money, too.

But it was never to be. Instead of Kevin, Britney got Machado – the woman closest to her…

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Anorak

Posted: 7th, November 2007 | In: Britney Spears, Celebrities, Tabloids Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink