London Bans The Plastic Bag: Global Warming Free Zone
“BAN THE BAG,” orders the Independent’s front page.
“British shops hand out more than one billion plastic bags each month, at huge cost to the world’s environment. Yesterday, in a landmark decision, 33 councils in London joined a growing national campaign to…” You know the rest.
Much is left to do. Shoppers, the homeless and other plastic bag enthusiasts await clarification if carrying a plastic bag into a designated Plastic Bag Free Zone is a crime. And what if a bag blows within the zone – whose fault is it, the shopper or the supplier?
The Indy says the ban could take years to come into force. In the meanwhile, “major retailers” have set about designing more lightweight bags, so ensuring bag users inhale less Nicotene and ingest less saturated fat.
Anorak can confirm that these bags are lighter, and that wrapping one within another is the best way to prevent “Shopping Spill”. Alternatively, shoppers are invited to clutch bags to their bosom, as you would a newborn baby or calf.
Peter Woodhall, of the Packaging and Industrial Firm Association, says: “We are losing the battle in terms of hearts and minds of the public, who now certainly believe that the plastic bag is… something we need to eradicate from society.”
The Independent uses it editorial to champion a “plastic bag tax”. This will dissuade shoppers from using plastic bags within the zero tolerance zone.
The ban will out. And Shoppers will be left with the choice of having their food delivered by a man on a push bike, paying extra for carriers or using the supermarket’s handy recyclable metal shopping cart.
Or you could buy Anorak’s new “Food Pockets” clothing range – “Dig Deep for the planet with trousers with pockets that go from hip to toe and back again! Order for Christmas and get a free Comfi-Eggz” head band!”
Posted: 14th, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Global Warming Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- June on Global Warming: Every Time You Breathe A Bangladeshi Dies
- June on Susan Boyle Weeps As The Press Set About Destroying Her
- Bat E Bird on Jamie Cullum Sings The Pursuit, In Pictures
- Anorak on Susan Boyle Weeps As The Press Set About Destroying Her
- Chris on Susan Boyle Weeps As The Press Set About Destroying Her
Middlesbrough fans boo Top Gear presenters for wearing Newcastle shirts
The Football WAG Index No.18: Zaira Nara
Classic Moments: Gary Lineker scores hat-trick for Barcelona against Real Madrid
What happened to Nicky Shorey?
January 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Young Frankenstein, pollution from British motor cars makes up only a tiny percentage of global pollution. Perhaps your comments would be better directed towards the governments of many (most?) African, Asian & South American countries. Their industrial emissions are off the scale compared to those (and indeed all other forms of atmospheric pollution) in Europe and even the US, where tight regulatory controls are in place to control emissions from motor vehicles and industry alike.
November 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
[...] Ban The BAG!!! [...]
November 14th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Oh excellent. No doubt the condemnation of those hwo (who) commit the minor offence of carrying plastic bags means that there will be … erm … significant punishment for greater crimes against the environment, such as driving a car or (worse) a Chelsea Tractor.
The vehicle pollution in this country is unbelievable! What are you all going to do about it?
No skin off my rosy red one, for I will be moving back to New Zealand before you all self-destruct.
November 14th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Pitty hates plastic, too high tech for her, she prefers her own leather satchel, and then only the ones she makes from bear hides that she tans herself and sews with a long needle……
The main reason plastic is such a bane, is that it is forming it’s own world of floating debris and will one day take over not just earth, but the universe!
November 14th, 2007 at 4:20 pm
I don’t use carrier bags either, instead opting to purchase a couple of collapsible plastic crates, that live in the back of the car, and only come out when I go into the supermarket for my weekly shop. I just pile the shopping straight into the crates.
On arriving at home and emptying the crates, they go back into the car ready for next time.
Admittedly the crates are made of plastic, but I will be able to re-use them hundreds of times before the bottom falls out… and in fact I do use them on other occasions for carrying things, and they also help to prevent bits’n'bobs flying around in the boot of the car between times.
Now the next problem to tackle is deforestation and destruction of wildlife habitat due to palm-oil plantations… I’ve stopped buying anything which states that it contains palm-oil.
Is anyone else on board with this crusade yet?
November 14th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
6 coolandcalm
I have asked for a compost bin for Christmas. I shop every other day (or more) as I don’t drive and try to use smaller shops over the supermarkets where possible - yet more ammunition for those who wish to call me a freak.
November 14th, 2007 at 11:26 am
My we are good Anorakis! Will, yes, and eco-warriors.
I do negate some of the good by going to and fro in the car but it is a very small Smartcar, and I do recycle almost everything.
I did however draw the line at the offer of a compost bin for Christmas. I’m not that good…..
November 14th, 2007 at 10:34 am
I pick my shopping up in a car
November 14th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Yes, Will, it does! I use the Co-op bags too, so that makes me equally virtuous!
November 14th, 2007 at 9:59 am
I bought cotton fair trade carrier bags from the Co-Op, use them all the time. Does that make me a good boy and Eco-warrior?
November 14th, 2007 at 9:34 am
On this I can be very smug. I don’t use plastic bags. ever. Haven’t for around five years…. Seeing them decorating the trees hedgerows sends me crackers!
And chewing gum…….. I hate that too. Bring back hanging for spitting it on the pavement.
Must now go somewhere quiet and chant to re-equalise my equilibrium!!
November 14th, 2007 at 9:31 am
[...] « London Bans The Plastic Bag: Global Warming Free Zone [...]