Bubbly Ulrika Jonsson’s Body Is A Time-Share

ULRIKA Jonsson was once thin. Now she is full of character, loveable and if she continues to gain weight, bubbly.

Ulrika is writing about her weight in the Daily Mail and how much it doesn’t bother her. The piece is 2,034 words in total. That’s how much it doesn’t bother her.

I regard it as a marker of my achievement in carrying those children. Far from bothering about my chunky image, I have a rather philosophical approach. I see my body as a time-share. I am lending my body to the process of reproduction

Ulrika is a body donor.

Today, I’m still carrying a large chunk of that whopping 5st extra. But do you know what? I don’t really care.

Yeah, move on.

As a TV presenter, I work in an environment where every additional ounce is relentlessly scrutinised, criticised and publicised, so, yes, I do know how Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry feel.

Ulrika can empathise with Oscar-winning actresses.

Under normal circumstances, I am a size 34D. At present, my titanic breasts occupy a 34I cup. This may mean nothing to most men, so for their benefit, just picture a fat, ageing porn star.

Eyes closed. Eyes open. Done.

After breastfeeding four contented babies, it will soon be time for me to reclaim my ‘time-share’.

To that end, I shall, hopefully, be joining the 2,000 or more women who undergo a breast reduction every year.

I feel I have generously donated my body, including my boobs, over a period of 14 years to the creation of my extraordinary brood.

Yeah, who calls their child Maclom any more. Extraordinary:

It’s not vanity which is driving me towards it - more a feeling of merit. Quite frankly, I think I deserve it.

More to follow…

Anorak

Posted: 7th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Food & Fat, Tabloids Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink