Swiss Restaurant Serves Up Breast Milk In Its Sauces
TO the kitchen of the Storchen restaurant, high in the Winterthur resort in darkest Switzerland.
“Try the meat stew,” says mein brave with a fat-lipped, lascivious grin. “Various soups and sauces are yummy tummy,” he adds.
All contain at least 75 per cent of mother’s milk. The calf’s mother? “No,” says he. “My mother’s.”
He goes on:
“We have all been raised on it. Why should we not include it into our diet?”
Even the Swiss cannot live on civic pride alone. Try it for the first few days, weeks, maybe months of life. But when mum is dispensing milk from her optics round the back of the sixth form bike sheds, is it not time to step back and reassess what is what?
“I first experimented with breast milk when my daughter was born.”
Ah, yes, little Veal. How is she..?
“One can cook really delicious things with it. However, it always needs to be mixed with a bit of whipped cream, in order to keep the consistency.”
Whipped cream..? Ah, ja! You mean, grandpa’s special sauce…
Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
- coolandcalm on Britain’s Got Talent Hollie Steel Guns For X Factor’s John And Edward
- Bat E Bird on Britain’s Got Talent Hollie Steel Guns For X Factor’s John And Edward
- joe lena on New Mexico’s Elizabeth Lambert Tries Out For Leeds United
- coolandcalm on Flexetarians Are Meat-Eating Vegetarians
- Peter Loxley on True Blood Porn, Oral Sex And Vampire Orgies, In Pictures
September 21st, 2008 at 10:11 am
Oops, forgot to congratulate LP on her upcoming happy event. Congrats, to you and your chap. They eventually start talking though, and it’s not long before they start asking for stuff and answering back.
September 20th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
There’s no justice in the world; he probably spent the rest of his life ducking for apples…
September 20th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Before you can ask, no, he didn’t get the job.
September 20th, 2008 at 11:49 am
There was a resume that went around our office a couple of years ago… the classic “typo in the resume” thing but the bloke had reportedly worked on…
THE LARGE HARDON COLLIDER
Ooooh, yes.
September 19th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Desperate Dan,
I’m pleased to hear it; there were reports of a ‘glitch’ with a 30 ton transformer which, to use the technical term, ‘broke’.
Since I haven’t the faintest idea what a transformer is, much less how it could break, this information was not of much use to me, so your report from the vicinity is reassuring. Please keep it up!
Incidentally, there are unverifiable reports that the US Treasury is trying to collect and dump toxic instruments into the Collider, in the hope that they will f*ck the financial markets in someone else’s universe, so if you come across large numbers of suits with American accents please don’t be alarmed; they are just trying to save the world.
Well, they broke it; they can fix it…
September 19th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
chenier Says:
September 19th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I had read that there had been a hitch with the Large Hadron Collider, so I wondered whether you were to blame?
And your report is a tad late…
——————————————————————————————————–
chenier, I’m impressed by your memory. The CERN website was hacked but otherwise things seem to be fine.
Twenty degrees today and sunny.
I assume that the particles must still be accelerating and colliding without untoward effect.
LIDL and ALDI are still no cheaper than our local supermarket so all must be well with the world.
I am reluctant to use the term “black hole” for obvious reasons…
September 19th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Let’s hope that this restaurant doesn’t become self service.
September 19th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I had read that there had been a hitch with the Large Hadron Collider, so I wondered whether you were to blame?
And your report is a tad late…
September 19th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Breast milk? What other kind is there?
September 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Nope, chenier. Just born with poor eyesight. I latched on to beer home-brew beer kit hanging on the door shortly after birth and have been there ever since. While the other toddlers hopped, skipped and jumped I ate hops, kipped then pumped.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Your mum not from that part of the world, then?
September 19th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I remember the European Milk Lake, but I must have missed the German Milk Mountains.
September 19th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
But behind that picture of swiss motherhood at its’ peak lies a cautionary tale.
The dastardly chef was advertising in German newspapers for mothers to share nature’s bounty at $22.50 a litre; I think we can all agree that passing off German human milk as Swiss human milk is a fraud on the consumer.
Or at least, that’s what the Association of Swiss Milk Producers said, and who are we non-lactating individuals to argue?
September 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Ohhhhh I can’t wait for mine
Should be in about another 11 weeks time hahahahaa
September 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
When the little ‘un was born, I had to take my share of stuffing her yowling maw with expressed milk from my better half back then - usually while she slept. Until some kind person told me I could test it on my wrist, I was doing so by squirting some of the contents of the warmed milk onto my tongue while standing in a cotton-wool fog of sleep deprivation in the kitchen. Every f**king night. During the day, of course, little ‘un was fed from the tap, so to speak.
If I ever went near my then beloved’s sore areas, I’d be told: “They’re for the baby.” After my hapless nocturnal testings I completely agreed with her. That stuff is so foul that only a creature who had up until then tasted nothing but womb juice could possibly like it. These Swiss cuckoos should be clocked with a Christmas-sized Toblerone for even thinking otherwise. Plus they’ve probably robbed the next generation of helpful colostrum, so when their grandkids are wheezing and shambling around on underdeveloped legs they’ve only got their sick, sick selves to blame. Yuck! Christ knows what’s in the Sachertorte!