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Anorak | Turning Japanese: How Japan Could Save The World’s Economy

Turning Japanese: How Japan Could Save The World’s Economy

by | 19th, October 2008

IT’S someone pretending to be Japanese in the hope of getting their hands on the huge pile of dosh the Japanese are sitting on; according to the Japanese politician, Kotaro Tamura, Japan has $950 billion in government foreign reserves, $1.5 trillion in public pension funds and $15 trillion in personal financial assets.

Half of that is on deposit at extremely low interest rates in Japanese banks.

So Japan could save the world, or at least the bits which haven’t already been saved by Gordon Brown and assorted pols – if it chose to use that money to bail out the very Troubled Banks which, notwithstanding the vast fleet of Goldman Sach’s personnel currently running America, are still not exactly flavour of the month to anyone sentient?

The problem is that Japanese investors, and Japanese governments, are extremely conservative people who take one look at the current debacle, and regard it as a very good reason not to give their money to Goldman Sachs, sorry, the US government, nor to the Troubled Banks infesting the world’s financial markets.

This is where the cunning plan comes in; Gordon Brown and England’s Darling have enforced capitalisation conditions of such pristine purity in the banks which have been bailed out by we happy taxpayers, that we are very close to looking Japanese.

Nor have we pissed off the Japanese Government by announcing that we welcome North Korea back into the fold of ‘Nice People Like Us’, as opposed to ‘Nasty Terrorists Like Them’, as the Bush Administration did last week.

Last Wednesday the Bank of Japan announced that it will offer what is deemed to be unlimited free credit in order to get the money markets moving again; wouldn’t it be nice if next Wednesday they started rewarding our Gordie, and us, for his prescience in making us look a lot more like them…

Chenier

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Posted: 19th, October 2008 | In: Money Comments (16) | TrackBack | Permalink