Turning Japanese: How Japan Could Save The World’s Economy
IT’S someone pretending to be Japanese in the hope of getting their hands on the huge pile of dosh the Japanese are sitting on; according to the Japanese politician, Kotaro Tamura, Japan has $950 billion in government foreign reserves, $1.5 trillion in public pension funds and $15 trillion in personal financial assets.
Half of that is on deposit at extremely low interest rates in Japanese banks.
So Japan could save the world, or at least the bits which haven’t already been saved by Gordon Brown and assorted pols - if it chose to use that money to bail out the very Troubled Banks which, notwithstanding the vast fleet of Goldman Sach’s personnel currently running America, are still not exactly flavour of the month to anyone sentient?
The problem is that Japanese investors, and Japanese governments, are extremely conservative people who take one look at the current debacle, and regard it as a very good reason not to give their money to Goldman Sachs, sorry, the US government, nor to the Troubled Banks infesting the world’s financial markets.
This is where the cunning plan comes in; Gordon Brown and England’s Darling have enforced capitalisation conditions of such pristine purity in the banks which have been bailed out by we happy taxpayers, that we are very close to looking Japanese.
Nor have we pissed off the Japanese Government by announcing that we welcome North Korea back into the fold of ‘Nice People Like Us’, as opposed to ‘Nasty Terrorists Like Them’, as the Bush Administration did last week.
Last Wednesday the Bank of Japan announced that it will offer what is deemed to be unlimited free credit in order to get the money markets moving again; wouldn’t it be nice if next Wednesday they started rewarding our Gordie, and us, for his prescience in making us look a lot more like them…
- Chenier
With two fewer weekend shopping days in September…
International Regulation For The Global Economy
Never Mind the Dow, Here’s the Economy!
The real economy will soon be hit by the crisis
Posted: 19th, October 2008 | In: Money Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
October 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
OK, so are you suffering from the best or the worst hangover in the world?
On second thoughts, if you could answer that question you wouldn’t have the best or even the worst hangover in the world, so forget it.
How long do you propose to remain teetotal?
October 19th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Carlsberg DO do hangovers and there is no probably about it……
October 19th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Ah, the hangover; been there, done that, got the permanently macerated synapses. I’m assuming that it was the Carlsberg; I have to say that I’m surprised you can even read.
Perhaps they don’t brew it the way they used to.
I hope that you feel better tomorrow, and goodnight, Rhett…
October 19th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Doh! Sorry, I plead a hangover of biblical proportions.
Poles apart………… forget it, tomorrow is another day. Say goodnight Scarlett.
October 19th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Truce it is then; we can lay down our rifles and emerge from the trenches to exchange the compliments of the season, before we get back to the serious business of shooting each other, sorry, analysing global market trends.
I dunno about you, but I’m a bit concerned about a tri-polar development in the global currency system.
I know my geography leaves much to be desired, but I’m pretty sure there are only two poles, now that all the rest of them have gone home…
October 19th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
…. you got me..
October 19th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Not if it involves singing Christmas carols…
October 19th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Truce?
October 19th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
A 3 in 1 post; have you considered inflation indexing?
I was seriously considering moving on to lobsters but you’ve potted that…
October 19th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I think we should nip this in the bud now. Before I take a pasting. Off to Crewe Station for the train home!
October 19th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
They never spotted the killer claws in the contract…
October 19th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Shellshocked financial markets feel the pinch.
(sorry)
October 19th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
…brings a whole new meaning to the words ‘credit crunch’…
October 19th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Certainly no one walking sideways.
October 19th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
It was indeed, though it’s probably too much to hope for that they would lend to us at zero interest rate.
And now for our daily round up of nice deals; I bring to you the management buy out of Landry’s Restaurants Inc., the owner of The Crab House and Rainforest Cafe.
I appreciate that the Rainforest Cafe is appealing to a wide range of people, but who the hell would voluntarily walk into the Crab House?
October 19th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
ZIRP, it was Big in Japan.