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The Germanes: Brand And Rossy In Faulty Towers

THE Daily Mail is up in arms at Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross, so don’t mention the war.

Trouble is, Russell has let things go to his head and can’t stop himself. While Rossy runs about clearing up Brand’s mess, Brand insults everyone and oh, no…

“I would like to remind the Daily Mail [sic] that while it is a bit bad to leave a swearword on Andrew Sachs’ answerphone, what’s worse - leaving a swearword on Andrew Sachs’ answerphone or tacitly supporting Adolf Hitler when he took charge of the Third Reich?”

“Don’t mention the war!” Mr Faulty, is a panza, is not a rat…

“When he became chancellor in the old late 1930s the Daily Mail printed a letter from a lord going ‘this Hitler might be all right’. And once old Blackshirt Oswald Mosely came to prominence in this country the Daily Mail went, ‘Hurrah for our blackshirted chums’.”

“Don’t mention the war!” Sack them”! screams the Mail’s front page. Raus!

The Major approaches and discovers that Brand’s late-night Radio 2 show included telling 78-year-old Sachs that Brand had slept with his granddaughter and joking that the he had taken her on the swings.

She’s called Georgina Bailie, aka Voluptua, a performer with the Satanic Sluts Xtreme dance troupe.

“He f***ed your granddaughter,” says Rossy.

She points to a newspaper. “BRAND GROVELS OVER SEX LIES,” the Star announces.

But we are all friends now. All difference forgotten. No need to mention the porn. Brand mentioned it once and he thinks he got away with it…