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Anorak | An Immigrant Is Snared Every Minute

An Immigrant Is Snared Every Minute

by | 28th, October 2008

FACTS: “1 IMMIGRANT SNARED EVERY 8 MINUTES.”

No – he-he – not the same one immigrant, although they do all look the same.

The Star gives the headline figure, and hears Immigration Minister Phil Woolas cheer the news that say that with ID cards “will mean we have the strongest and secure borders for many a year”.

This and the ingenious plan to ruin the economy and render the UK no different to an impoverished East European state will make the country safe.

With any luck a bitterly cold winter will reduce the pension burden, and Tony Blair’s weather machine is seeing to that.

Over in the Sun, the paper catches up with “Amir”, who for £500 will sit your citizenship test for you. Because Amir looks like every other foreigner he operates with no fear of being detected, passing the test each time.

What the country needs is a secret sign that marks out all Britons who have passed the test, perhaps a regulation pair of Comfi-Slax, a Welsh dragon tattoo on their calf or an “oranging” at the tannery?

But, once again, it’s left to Phil Woolas, to lead the way. From now all Britishers will be required on the command “Scramble!” to produce a pie and shove it in their own face.

Failure to comply will be met with instant seizing and subsequent removal to France by a team of men in butcher’s coats…

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Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink