Anorak | Wind Turbine Tailing Is The New Extreme Sport

Wind Turbine Tailing Is The New Extreme Sport

by | 9th, January 2009

A WIND turbine is crippled. The Sun leads with new that one of it blades has been struck by a “UFO”. Another blade is missing.

Welcome to Close Encounters of The Turbine.

There are strange lights around the tower in Conisholme, Lancashire. A UFO “expert” says: “We are very excited.”

As are the aliens who are right now examining the blade and working out how it can help them produce enough energy to mount a full-on invasion of planet Earth.

Says one spotter:

“The lights were moving across the sky toward the wind farm. Then I saw the low flying object. It was skimming across the sky towards the turbines.”

One day on, and the Sun’s front page brings the update: “Stealth theory on UFO.”

“UFO turbine mystery: the theories in full,” says the Tabloid Telegraph:

Ice in the blades

Rain water could have made its way into hairline cracks on the blade. As it expanded to become ice it may have weakened the structure.

Global cooling strikes again, this time – irony of ironies – at the heart of alternative energies.

Ice block from another turbine

Could ice that built up on the blades of neighbouring turbine in the recent freezing weather have flown off and caused the damage?

Irony upon irony.

Blade just fell off

“Sometimes machines just break,” says an expert in British engineering.

Hit by an aircraft

Taken out by the aviation industry?

Frozen urine dropped from plane

Chemical warfare?

Hit by a bird

You’ll believe an ostrich can fly.


Locals have claimed that the “glowing spheres” could have been fireworks from their birthday party. But fireworks do not hang in the air or “zoom” parallel to the ground as witnesses described.

Although as a Mr Archie Hart says peering through a hole in his new jumper made by the discouted Atomic War “they might”.


Or Turbine Tailing, the new extreme sport where the sportsman grabs hold of the propeller and waits for a storm to let go. The BBC is believed to have bought up the intellectual property rights.

The truth is out there…

Posted: 9th, January 2009 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink