The British High Street For Sale
“FOR SALE,” says the Indy’s front page, “The British High Street.”
Anorak has walked down the local high street and done and inventory of the kind of stock your money can buy.
4329 squashed pieces of chewing gum
1,987 fast food cartons
543 flyers for Peppermint Hippo lap dancing club (for BBW enthusiasts)
54 dustbins
17 learner plates
9 police traffic cones formed into a pyramid
7 puddles of vomit
3 people called Gary urinating by Boots the Chemist
A shoe (black, size 6)
1 bagpipe player
And countless empty shops people by staff in scratchy jumpers and deteriorating skin.
Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Money Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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Regular Features
February 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Someone could make a nice display of the Lplates and the traffic cones too, I’m sure some designer could come up with something that could be sold in the better times ahead for loadsaloot
February 6th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Just you wait when the depression really bites:
The shoe & bagpiper will be eaten.
The Puddles of vomit recycled into British Rail’s Buffet food.
People will be living rough under all the pavement plastic and
the p’mint rhino will be rebranded as the Nu Labour National Health A&E.
February 6th, 2009 at 11:38 am
slip on or laces?
February 6th, 2009 at 9:35 am
That shoe, black size 6 was it left or right?