Jade Goody Launches New Perfume On Oprah Winfrey

JACKIEY Budden, marketer for Jade Goody industries, is in 2 hour séance with psychic Jayne Wallace. The perfume of kebab and sun cream. Jade, you there? Blurp!

“Jade wants to say, ‘Sorry Mum’ for not listening to you. She knows it was the biggest mistake she ever made - but she just wanted to be a princess. She still loves him and knows he loved her, but she’s disgusted with his behaviour and thinks it’s disrespectful to her memory and to you.”

Him is randy Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, keeper of the Goody Privy Seal. And I am The Anorak, the media medium who told you that Jade would be back to appear in Big Brother 10. Jade… We feel your presence. Hey. Not that close. Get out of my face. Yeah, and you, you ****ing b****! Police!”

Says Jackiey on the telliey:

“I could smell Jade like she was standing there next to me - the feeling was incredible.”

As in life, so too in after life. But while Jackiey prepares the market for Afters, Jade Goody’s latest scent, Jade continues to see all:

“Within 12 months, you will have been invited to go on the Oprah Winfrey show to talk about the musical and the book.”

Unless Oprah should… Look out! Jack Tweed you dirty, dirty, dirty boy…

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink