Anorak | One In Six Children Forced To Use Fingers To Swear

One In Six Children Forced To Use Fingers To Swear

by | 4th, January 2010

baby-talkONE in six children can’t talk properly, says a survey by a vested interest group. When approached by a pollster in a bright coat stepping in front of them with “hiya!” six children replied with the correct response: “fuck off.”

Three out of ten children said managed only to say “Poo” and one in every ten was only able to use a finger or a loose fist to signify “Wanker”.

England’s first “Communication Champion” is called Jean Gross. She shows how she got the job by telling us:

“Our ability to communicate is fundamental and underpins everything else. Learning to talk is one of the most important skills a child can master in the 21st Century.”

Funder—ment.. Oh, fuck it. Best leave the talking to dem wotz na ‘ow tu.

In other news, the BBC then delivers a list of baby’s first words:

Dada – 15%
Daddy – 13%
Mama – 10%
Dad – 10%
Mummy 8%
Mum – 7%
Cat 2%
No – 1%
Dog – 1%

That’s the full 100%. Top work…

Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Reviews Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink