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Ashley Cole’s Speedy Sequel To ‘My Defence’ Cuts No Ice With Judge

by | 4th, January 2010

ash-homeREASON to not like Ashley Cole No. 3215b: Ashley has been found guilty of driving at more than 100mph in a 50mph zone.

Sadly, Cole was not present to hear the verdict announced at Kingston Magistrates’ Court, namely that the 29-year-old was driving his Lamborghini Gallardo in Kingston at 104mph.

Cole denied the charge. It was all huge coincidence that the speed gun was there at the same time as Ashley was sitting down for a cup of warm tea in a hotel when it popped in for a chit-chat.

No, only joking. Ashley says that he was being chased by paparazzi at the time. Yep, Ashley Cole is Princess Diana. Well, he could have been…

Cole’s defence, a lawyer named Katherine Hodson argued that the speed gun may not have been working properly. That 104mph might not be right. Ashley has history with numbers and cars. This great passage from Cole’s book, the comedy classic Ashley Cole: My Defence:

One telephone call changed everything about how I viewed and felt about Arsenal. “Ash! Are you listening?” said a virtually hyperventilating Barnett. “I’m here in the office and David Dein is saying they aren’t going to give you £60k a week. They’ve agreed £55k and this is their best and final offer. Are you happy with that?” I nearly swerved off the road. “He is taking the piss, Jonathan!” I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed, I was trembling with anger. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard.

So that 104mph might have been more. Hey, it should have been more. Only joking. It might have been 49pmph. or 55mph – although that would have bene taking the piss. Magistrates’ chairwoman Judith Jewell is unimpressed with Cole’s defence and finds him guilty.

Poor, misunderstood Ashley…



Posted: 4th, January 2010 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink