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Hello!: Victoria And David’s Beckham’s Wedding Invite

by | 28th, January 2010

portada-revista-hello-1108-520IN this week’s Hello! magazine: David and Victoria Beckham “invite you” to Vicky’s sister’s wedding “AT THEIR COUTNRY MANSION”.

This is how celebrity magazine weddings work: you get the free do and the boast card in exchange for an advertorial about the venue and the hosts.

The front cover tells its own story: while Vicky’s sister – still not named – wears an ivory gown and holds the hand of her suited and booted lover, also unnamed – Vicky pulls on a little black dress and David arrives as if he’s thinking of jacking it all in for a job as a mini cab driver in suburban Leicester and has dressed in rediness for an emergency call up from Ozcabs.

Inside the magazine – and before we meet the now named “SISTER LOUISE”, we hear Vicky tells us in tones the Queen usually reserves for someone living to 100 – and the Beckhams do have a private chapel at Beckingham Palace.

“The wedding was a beautiful intimate family occasion and I am delighted for the two of them.”

Oh, joy. And then we meet Darren Flood, whom Vicky might well also have invited. He’s the groom.

The menu – and yours is in the post – is Langoustine thermidor followed by Canon & shoulder of lamb, Dauphinoise potatoes, seasonal vegetables and “jus” (one imagines vegetable Jus, perhaps tomato). The pudding is ‘Traditional sticky pudding’ (for the gentlemen) and frozen berries and hot chocolate sauce (for the ladies).

It might come as news to you that women and men get different desserts. The men get tasty stodge and the women get frozen fruit under hot sauce. Disgusting.

We then learn that Victoria looked “elegant”. She says Darren is “a wonderful, kind and loving man”.

OK! then takes Vicky’s Sister and Whatshisname through a Q&A, in which the magazine is compelled to pepper its questions about Day-vid and Vicky with a few fillers about Vicky’s Sister and Whathisname.

The last question goes:

“Are you missing Victoria and her family now that they’ve gone back to Los Angeles?”

Says the sister: “They’re really happy out there…”

Enjoy your wedding. No, not yours. Theirs…



Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Hello! Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink