Anorak | Alex Reid And Katie Price: A Proposal And A Sex Tour

Alex Reid And Katie Price: A Proposal And A Sex Tour

by | 31st, January 2010

kp-arALEX Reid and Katie Price. No, wait. Katie Price and Alex Reid. No, what about Alice? KP and AR – jumble it about: KRAP. While we deliberate over the name that unites Mr Toffee Crisp and Jordan, the Star tells us that Alex Reid celebrated his Celebrity Big Brother triumph with a “marathon sex session before proposing to Katie Price.”

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

What did he propose – that next time they use a Mars bar? (Yes, a Marathon is called a Snickers but we are old fashioned sorts and believe that a Marathon is a Marathon and no matter what the fluids and lubricants, that’s just the way thing are meant to be.)

The sex-starved cage fighter spent Friday night and Saturday morning making up for lost time by bedding her in three different venues within 12 hours.

Three venues. No, don’t tell us. Let’s guess: China Whites… The penalty spot at White Hart Lane… The forecourt at Buckingham Palace?

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

They romped in a Celebrity Big Brother dressing room, at Katie’s Sussex home and at the posh Pennyhill Country Park Hotel & Spa in Surrey.

Close. Maybe next time… And why no shagging in the car in transit? Mini cab drivers love that sort of thing.

And he set the seal on their relationship by proposing to her yesterday morning. He even carried her over the threshold of her home while she sported what appeared to be a huge engagement ring.

Or a shiny wart?

According to a source close to the publicity-hungry couple: “Alex was so horny he basically pounced on Katie as soon as he could. They headed straight to her dressing room and spent 20 minutes alone getting to know each other again. Producers on Big Brother’s Big Mouth were worried they wouldn’t be out in time to film the show late on Friday. One walked in on them and Katie shouted, ‘Pervert!’

Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)

Yeah, sicko. But a calendar like everyone else. Some people have no idea. And what’s next for Alex?

Alex now hopes to conquer Hollywood with a little help from Big Brother pals Vinnie Jones and Stephen Baldwin.

And Killer Bitch, the film that set him on the dark, secluded woodland path to fame.

He said: “I’d love to go to Hollywood and get a career out there. I think it’s totally amazing that Stephen and Vinnie have said they will help me. I still have a fight in three months so I am focusing on that at the moment but in the back of my mind I’m thinking I am an actor.”

And in the front of your mind the future is a bright and cloudy orange.

And so to the reality TV show we go…

Alex Reid Naked (NSFW)

Posted: 31st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink