Justin Bieber’s Girlfriend Selena Gomez Plans To Not Do something
THE budget may be taking us all roughly with no lubricant, Libya may well be about to explode like a giant box of catherine wheels and Japan may well consist of people stood solemnly staring at the catastrophic carnage, wondering where to begin when rebuilding such a beautiful country… but what about the really big news?
We’re talking specifically about the world of gyrating foetus, Justin Bieber or, more importantly, what Bieber’s girlfriend, Selena Gomez.
While our failing species stares down at our imploding planet, beset by unimaginable horrors and outrageous misfortune, the thing we all need to know is what Selena Gomez is planning on not doing.
That’s right readers, it is time to delve into a world of Not News, which in this case, is Gomez’s plans to not duet with boyfriend Justin Bieber. Apparently, she’d like to keep her personal life and career separate.
Spinning the world anti-clockwise on its axis, Selena said:
“I don’t know. With my friends, I always make sure that I try to keep family and business separate because it doesn’t really go well sometimes… I don’t know about that. We’ll see.”
Of course, the world is full of things that people don’t intend doing. Sources suggest that Mel Gibson has no intention of flogging a pig with his belt (buckle end) until it turns into a pork scratching in a square in Verona.
Likewise, reports suggest that David Gest has no intention of exposing himself at passers-by on the A666 while shrieking the tune of Jim Davidson comedy gameshow, Big Break.
And, naturally, Michael Jackson fans haven’t even vaguely considered mourning the loss of the King Of Pop in a tasteful manner, as underlined by Mohammed Al Fayed’s unveiling of the world’s most preposterous reincarnation of a man who looked like a sack of suet in the first place.
Next week: Bear defecates in woodland area.