Peter Andre Won’t Be Dating You Famous Women, So You Can Breathe Easy
DESPITE barely registering on most people’s scale of celebrity, Peter Andre has an almost charming delusion that he’s a big deal. He takes his music very seriously (no, honestly he does – if he was any more earnest, he’d be a good replacement for the Montell Williams Show) and is very, very keen to remind us all what a good parent he is.
Not that anyone cares about his stupid offspring.
And now, for reasons unclear, Pete wants to inform us all that he won’t be dating women who are in the public eye anymore. Is that because they don’t tend to recognise him?
“I always thought they should understand your job, but given the option now I would like to stay away from dating anyone in the industry.”
That means you deluded Peter Andre fans can screw your little faces up and think of a dream scenario where he walks into your life, your eyes meet, and he whisks you off your feet while singing A Whole New World to you. He may even marry you! He’ll probably have autotune on his voice during the vows! IT’S A MODERN DAY FAIRYTALE!
That’s not going to happen though because he’s too busy being all sensitive about his recent break-up with Elen Thingummybobs.
“I can’t believe I’m so confused. I’ve only recently said that I wanted to have lots of fun and now I’m starting to think I am ready for all that. Before Elen, I thought that I wanted to be in a relationship and then when that didn’t work out, even though we’re great friends, I thought I didn’t want to be with anybody.
“However, now I’ve started thinking that maybe I should be in a relationship.”
As long as we don’t see you padding around a jungle again with an erection, you can do as you please Peter. Seriously. No-one’s watching. Knock yourself out.