Strip Club launches perfumes for its lying cheating customers
PSST! Want to smell like a priapic liar who needs to get sexually aroused by strangers stripping for money before being possessed of the necessary vim to head home to shag your lover? Well, if you do, Alibi perfumes for men (and women – birds love lap-dancing clubs – see all tabloid newspapers) are for you!
With Alibi you can negate the smell of desperation of easy-wipe seating with the scent of an office or car. When your wife ask you where you’ve been, you can shove your wrists into her face watch as she inhales the fumes of My Car Broke Down and paint yourself as the victim.
Oddly, one of the fragrances launched South African lap dancing club Mavericks is called We Were Out Sailing. Yep, you smell fishy. Another is called I Was Working Late. You;d supposed that using that excuse for the umpteenth time would make the cheating pillock’s wife more and not less suspicious.
And, of course, there is the threat that your eau de flat tyre will mask the scent of her The Plumber Unblocked My Pipes…