Anorak

Anorak | Student hurt by bottle rocket fired from student’s anus – sues

Student hurt by bottle rocket fired from student’s anus – sues

by | 4th, February 2012

HEAR the one about the student who sued after being struck up his anus by a bottle rocket fired from another student’s anus? Louis Helmburg III is suing The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and fraternity member Travis Hughes.

The papers lodged with Cabell County Court claims that at 1:30 a.m. on May 1, 2011, a student in a “drunken stupor” thought ” “it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus”. Sadly, “instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant’s rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back”. He duly fell 4 feet to the ground from the fraternity’s deck. Louis Helmburg III puts it to the law that “firing bottle rockets out of one’s own anus constitutes an ‘ultra-hazardous’ activity”.

Discuss.

Helmburg claims the bottle up the anus caper damaged his career with the Marshall University baseball team. Helmburg claims the Alpha Tau deck should have had a railing, in accordance withHuntington building codes. Helmburg says:

“Several of the people in attendance at said house party were under the legal drinking age, including defendant Travis Hughes. Most of the persons in attendance at said house party were also consuming alcohol with the full knowledge and consent of the ATO fraternity.”

The complaint continues:

“Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house … Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant’s rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.

Helmburg says Alpha Tau  had a duty to stop “defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one’s own anus.”

Helmburg ends:

“Defendant Hughes also owed plaintiff and others on the ATO deck a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus.”

Helmburg is seeking damages for negligence and strict liability.

Hughes may soon be seeking a colostomy bag…

 



Posted: 4th, February 2012 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink