Whitney Houston is buried in Kevin Costner’s shoulder
FOR Michael Jackson’s gold coffin, read Whitney Houston’s golden hearse. And her send off is gonna be bigger than Jacko’s funeral. This will be the must-see funeral to end all must-see funerals. Whitney Houston’s funeral is likely to take place this Friday in the 18,700-seat Prudential Centre in her home town of Newark, New Jersey.
Will Houston’s 18-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina grasp a microphone and invited weep into it, like Paris Michael Jackson did? Paris’s tears were described on the caring BBC as her “her public debut”.
Rev Al Sharpton topped that by telling the children: “Paris, Michael, Blanket — I want you to know there was nothing strange about your daddy. It was strange what your daddy had to deal with.”
That in turn was bested by Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, who took the chance to stand before the mourners – and the Jackson children – and say: “As a representative of Congress, we understand the constitution. We know that people are innocent until proved otherwise!” She then mentioned the “persistent paedophile rumours” .
Jackson’s funeral was the precedent. We can expect relatives to tell the tabloids about the Whitney they knew best – the Whitney who loved nothing more than watching daytime TV, butchering rhinos for their horns and eating Mars Bar sandwiches.
(See Magic Johnson’s tribute to Jackson: “I went to Michael’s house and the chef brought Michael out a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I was like, Michael — you have Kentucky Fried Chicken! That was the greatest moment of my life . . . we had such a great time, sitting on the floor, eating that bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. God bless you, Michael!”)
When Jackson died, his squeaky-clean, easy-wipe exterior was undone by stories that when awake he’d taken more drugs than Keith Richards and had upstaged the Rolling Stone rocker by taking them intravenously in his sleep. It wasn’t about the music. It was open season on the man.
The funeral gig showcased the four Jackson brothers each wearing a rhinestone glove, like Jackson. Will Whitney’s send off feature her relatives falling into the arms of Kevin Coster look-alikes? Do mourners need to look like the fallen star to remind us what the fallen star looked like?
The nadir of the Jackson funeral frenzy was the Daily Mirror’s report that the man who played a brainless Scarecrow in The Wiz, was buried in character. As the Daily Mirror touchingly told us: “The brain will be placed in a plastic bucket.” Will Whitney Houston be buried in Kevin Costner’s shoulder? Will the Mirror mock up a cartoon of what that could look like?
The big questions, of course, are if any of this is what Houston would have wanted? And which youngster will sing at her funeral and be billed as the new Whitney Houston by the TV presenters..?
Update – dignity wins:
Whitney Houston’s funeral will be held Saturday in the church where she first showcased her singing talents as a child, her family choosing to remember her in a private service rather than in a large event at an arena.
The owner of the Whigham Funeral Home said Tuesday that the funeral will be held at noon at Newark’s New Hope Baptist Church, which seats up to 1,500.
The family said no public memorial service is planned at this time. Officials had discussed the possibility of holding a memorial at the Prudential Center, a major sports and entertainment venue that can seat about 18,000 people, but the funeral home said it had been ruled out.