Anorak

Anorak | Victoria Newton’s Sun on Sunday – a sneak peak

Victoria Newton’s Sun on Sunday – a sneak peak

by | 23rd, February 2012

NEWS is that Victoria Newton has been working on the Sun on Sunday. The blog Vicky Watch may yet come back to life to cover some of those awesome scoops. Vicky was, of course, replaced by Gordon Smart’s Bizarre. Here’s a few Vicky gems:

AN EXCLUSIVE:

“EXCLUSIVE. VICTORIA BECKHAM has revealed why she cut her hair off — so she can have more SEX with hubby DAVID. She giggled: “David prefers my hair short. With hair extensions you can be in the midst of passion and one flies out.”

Exclusive? How does that work when Victoria Beckham said virtually the same thing on GMTV nearly 2 months ago?

THE INSIDER

“TOM MEIGHAN has confirmed that KASABIAN will headline Glastonbury 2007 — and I’m already really excited. The singer broke the great news to me as he left the aftershow party following his band’s triumphant gig at London’s Earls Court this week. He said: “The next time we’ll see each other in this state will be at Glastonbury. I can’t wait.””

He also broke the news to every person in the audience at the same gig. As he left the stage, he said “This has been the best gig we have ever done, I swear to God. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We’ll see you at Glastonbury yeah.” He’s also ended several other concerts prior to this with the same words recently. But he hasn’t mentioned anything about them headlining – that is as yet unconfirmed.

TV SCOOP!

“LATINO actress SALMA HAYEK looks anything but ugly at a press conference for her new TV show Ugly Betty. Salma – an executive producer on the show – turns up in several episodes as unattractive (errr) secretary Sofia Reyes.”

By “unattractive secretary” we can only assume Vicky means “sexy Editor-in-Chief who one of the male leads falls in lust with”. Look at the photo above (if you can, obviously Salma, on the right, lookshideous) to see where Vicky went wrong this time.

FIRST

“IT may sound like an unlikely collaboration on paper – but GWEN STEFANI’S new song with KEANE keyboard man TIM RICE-OXLEY is a winner. And the ONLY place you can hear it – along with a second exclusive track from superstar Gwen’s upcoming second solo album – is in my Bizarre Podcast.”

Despite the fact that the entire album leaked onto hundreds of websites and file-sharing services nearly a fortnight ago, this is the ONLY place to hear it apparently. Or you could always try YouTube, where it has been available to listen to since November 21st.

MINE

Ms Newton has a habit of putting the word “my” before photographers, cameramen, Photoshop experts and entire websites, trying to convince us she has a small army of paps and experts at her beck and call. These brief interludes will demonstrate.

Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton – “The two had a screaming row outside Paris’s Hollywood mansion – and my video crew were there to catch it all. The argument started when Lindsay left a party her rival was throwing – telling my video crew that “Paris Hilton is crazy” and had elbowed and thrown a drink over her.”

So this “my” video crew will be independent news agency SplashNews will it? Pretty easy to work that out considering you’ve credited them at the end of the article. And yet you still somehow think it’s plausible to use possessive adjectives.

THE FUTURE

“BRITNEY SPEARS is almost unrecognisable in this newly released promotional shot for her upcoming album Blackout. Blackout – which entered the UK charts at No2 on Sunday – is set to go to No1 in the American Billboart chart this weekend and has become Britney’s fastest selling album ever in the UK.”

So this is an upcoming album which went on sale last Monday? Okay…

For “newly released” read “one of the photos which is in the CD booklet” – see here.

WE WIN:

“The Sun’s Bizarre team scooped the top gong at last night’s 21st Shafta Awards.

The tabloid’s showbiz column won the Princess Margaret award for the claim that The Priory inmates Pete Doherty, Justin Hawkins and Tom Keane were getting together to form a band.

Under the headline “Stupor Group”, the story ran last August. Alas, Tom Keane said in this week’s Q magazine: “Justin Hawkins wasn’t even there. If you could see the scenes and the people in The Priory you wouldn’t even think it worthy of an article in Bizarre. It made me really angry and really nervous.””

Unsurprisingly, Vicky left that last part out of her article yesterday.

The Sunday Sun – game on!



Posted: 23rd, February 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink