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Anorak | Celine Dion’s throat is regrettably healing

Celine Dion’s throat is regrettably healing

by | 13th, March 2012

TERRIBLE news. Just when you thought it was safe to leave the house again (unless you live in Syria or you’re an Iraqi emo), devastating newsbombs are dropped in your path. And it falls on us to deliver such savage and depressing news.

Celine Dion is on the road to recovery and is expected to be singing again by the end of April after a viral infection forced her to cancel a number of concerts.

Sweet muscular Jesus! What have we done to deserve such a cruel, brutal fate? There’s violence on the streets, protests, the NHS being dismantled and a recession that won’t quit. AND NOW THIS? We’re going to have our misery not only soundtracked, but compounded, by the inane warbling of Canada’s worst export (and yes, we include Bieber and The Crash Test Dummies in that).

We were given hope of a peaceful life when the superstar fell ill last month and cancelled all of her Las Vegas shows when she found herself unable to sing.

How glorious that was. People openly wept in the street, unable to process such mountainous levels of joy. And now, to kick us all square in the pips, she’s going to bloody well recover.

Her husband (yes, really) told Canada’s Hello! magazine: “Celine is doing better. She’s obviously not singing, but her speaking voice is getting back to normal… we’re flying to Los Angeles on Monday for a follow-up visit with Dr Berke at the UCLA Medical Clinic.”

“When Dr Berke examined her two weeks ago, he said that he expects her to fully recover within 6-8 weeks which would mean between the middle and end of April. So far, everything is going according to plan”.

He’s a berk alright.



Posted: 13th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink