Ashton Kutcher is being sent into space, away from humanity
SPACE is the final frontier apparently. It is also destined to be the resting place of imbecilic goof factory, Ashton Kutcher who is probably going to end up dead and orbiting our Earth.
The Two and a Half Men star is the 500th customer to sign up for Virgin Galactic, which of course, is Richard Branson’s business venture where he’ll take wealthy people into space. Branson made the announcement Monday on his blog.
“I gave Ashton a quick call to congratulate and welcome him,” he wrote. “He is as thrilled as we are at the prospect of being among the first to cross the final frontier (and back!) with us and to experience the magic of space for himself.”
“Ashton is joining a fast expanding group of true pioneers who are on their way to a life changing experience and a place in the history books. It’s great to have him on board.”
Of course, to be a pioneer, you’ll need to be rich. Tickets for a seat aboard Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo rocket plane start at $200,000.
Its obvious that Kutcher will somehow muck this up for everyone by either horsing around during take-off or trying to hump someone in a bid to become the first person to join the 8 miles high club. Like Homer Simpson when he goes to space, Kutch will inevitably clog the instruments up with his bodily fluids and we’ll get to watch a cargo of dead celebrities on a 24 hour news channel.
Doesn’t sound bad at all actually.