Kardashian Functional Sex and Beckingham Palace
THE Kardashians are a gruesome spectacle, determined to tell us all about the ins-and-outs of their lives. Quite literally. Of course, we saw the ins-and-outs of Kim’s life when her sex tape with Ray J got leaked online, turning her into a star overnight. Since then, she’s… well… done very little of worth, apart from a very brief marriage to a man who throws balls at a hoop for a living.
With the untold wealth that comes with Kim K’s life, she’s looking at buying a house in Europe. A bedsit in Montrose? A terrace in Telford? Of course not! She’s looking at buying Beckingham Palace – David and Victoria Beckham’s mansion in Hertfordshire.
If the Queen Of Trash buys it, she’ll be £18 million out of pocket, but will have a pool, golf course, gym, helipad and a recording studio that has never, ever been used (arf!). And if Kim should buy it and let her sister Khloe stay over, she will have soiled sheets too.
Khloe has been trying for a baby so hard that she’s now finding sex astonishingly dull. Talking to New, she said: “Kourtney had Mason and was saying, ‘I want him to have someone to grow up with.’ Sex became a job instead of it being fun and easy. Now it’s in God’s hands and I’m very comfortable with that right now.”
So, Khloe isn’t at all sex-obsessed, despite what viewers of the reality show think. Referring to the latest season opener when Khloe talks A LOT about her fondness for sex, she said: “I did cringe a little – it was a little intense. It was very depressing in our house… I was trying to make the house fun, but you can’t tell that from the episode – people just think I’m sex-crazed!’”
Excuse us a moment, there’s a great arc of vomit with our name written all over it.