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Anorak | What happened when Mario Balotelli ‘stalked’ Lauren Thorne

What happened when Mario Balotelli ‘stalked’ Lauren Thorne

by | 29th, May 2012

IN “BALOTELLI STALKED ME”, the Sun leads with news that Mario Balotelli, Manchester City’s charismatic striker, is a stalker? The Sun hates stalking. In 2011, the paper’s Graeme Wilson reported that David Cameron was to make stalking a crime. THe November 2011 story was illustrated with a picture of a black man in a hood.

In March 2012, the Sun told us that David Cameron had “pledged” to make staking a crime. The “obsessives” who stalk women will be brought to justice. Cameron said:

“Stalking is an abhorrent crime. It makes life a living hell for the victims – breaking up relationships, forcing the victims to move house, making them feel they are being watched 24 hours of the day. That is why we are explicitly criminalising stalking, to make sure that justice is done, protect the victims and show beyond doubt that stalking is a crime.”

It is already a crime to stalk someone and put them in fear of violence. Those new stalking laws have yet to arrive. But stalking is serious. So. Is Mario Balotelli a stalker? No. But on page 5, a Lauren Thorne, 19, appears below the headline:

“Mario Balotelli followed me home, talked footie on our sofa…then badgered me for a date – Footie ace stalks teen beauty”

Good that he didn’t waste his time stalking a munter or someone mature or old. He “stalked” a teen beauty. Don’t juge him too harshly, m’lud. There but for the grave of God, eh. He’s not a weirdo who stalked someone’s mum or aunty. And she is smiling broadly. And what of that story? He “stalked” her to her home and then sat on her sofa? He stalked her in her lounge? We’re confused.

“A STUNNED teenager told last night how madcap footie ace Mario Balotelli secretly followed her home — then begged her for a DATE.”

“Madcap” or “obsessive”, as Cameron called stalkers?

“Waitress Lauren Thorne, 19, did not recognise the Man City star when he pitched up at her house after spotting her as she drove back from work.”

Mario Balotelli drives a white Bentley, although on this occassion he was behind the wheel of a new black BMW Z9. He is a young black man. He sports a landing strip hairdo on his head. His face has been all over the news for months. When did Lauren realise who he was?

‘And she was shocked when he declared: “I just saw you and wondered if I could take you out.” She was about to slam the door in his face when her City fan uncle recognised Mario, 21, and invited him into their two-bed terrace home.’

Does this make the uncle an accessory to the crime of “stalking”?

‘The Italian striker then spent 20 minutes on the sofa chatting about football — while still trying to persuade Lauren into going out with him. She said last night: “I just thought he was some guy trying it on. I couldn’t believe it when I realised who he was. I thought it was a bit weird and slightly stalkerish.”‘

So, only slightly stalkerish. As in, not stalkerish at all:

“He didn’t tell me his name or how he knew where I lived. I was slightly freaked out.”

Luckily one of the most recognisable faces in Manchester was spotted by her uncle Steve McCauley, 50:

“My uncle said: ‘My God it is Mario Balotelli.’ Then he invited him in. We were all in shock. It was very surreal. It’s not every day that a millionaire footballer knocks on your door.”

No. Right, then, that you raced of to tell the tabloids.

“He asked me three times and each time I politely said no to him. I knew he had a girlfriend and I have no interest in going out with a footballer and being a WAG.”

Which is why you sold your story, Lauren, because you have no interest in being associated with a footballer, even a polite one?

“He did ask to use the toilet though — which I found quite funny.”

The Queen uses the lav, too, Lauren. Aside form Noel Edmonds, everyone does.

If this story of a non-date ‘n’ tell is not racy enough – and who can it not be? – the Sun adds:

“It is not the first time Mario has made a beeline for a girl in a car. The Sun revealed last month how he bedded Wayne Rooney hooker Jenny Thompson after pulling up beside her in his white Bentley at a red light.”

At a red light, eh. He spotted the ex-prostitute at a red light.

What are the odds..?



Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink