Justin Lee Collins and his lover entertain the schoolchildren
REMEMBER when Rufus Hound stole Justin Lee Collins’ entire career from him by being Rent-A-Hirsuite-Wacky-Man? Well, things have got a whole load worse for JLC as he’s being accused of all manner of dark business by an ex.
In court. She’s claiming that Alan Carr’s old buddy tried to her into the path of an oncoming car, as well as being obsessed with her exes, reading her Facebook messages and generally clogging up the bath plug like nobody’s business. Anna Larke told St Albans Crown Court that she started to worry for her safety after the ALLEGED incident (we have to say that because lawyers are watching and we should probably point out that JLC denies assaulting and harassing his former girlfriend). During the hearing, Larke described Collins as “jealous”, “calculating” and “obsessive”, to the point where she was driven half-mental and ended up stabbed herself because she felt so frustrated.
So, not only was he Justin Lee Collins (annoying enough in its own right), but he allegedly abused her cat and did not let her wear flat shoes or clothes he had not given her. “He made me feeling disgusting. He made me feel crazy,”she said. She recorded him saying:
“You fucked up at the pub. When you’re fucking with me, you look at the fucking ground, you look at a tree, you look at a bench, you look at any fucking inanimate object, you do not look at any other fucking human being, you slag, do you understand?”
Justin Lee Collins’ prosecution team have portrayed her as a recovering alcoholic who had a drug problem as well, making this whole thing rather horrible and grotty. Nothing quite as grotty as the claim that JLC had a record of every sexual experience she had. His reasoning? Larke said that he’d argued it was “because I’m famous, I don’t want anything coming out in the papers about my girlfriend that I don’t know about.” The trial continues and this is the most laughs everyone’s had out of Justin Lee Collins, ever. Note: The Telegraphreprots:
A party of schoolchildren on a field trip was sitting in the public gallery. Half left during the prosecution opening.
Only half? Forget a school outing to Blenheim Palace or the London Dungeons. Sitting in court while two people rip each other to bits is where the real gore and guts are.