Foxes soon to control London after mugging mother-of-two
LONDON is a place where human contact is at a minimum, with people crammed into steel cylinders, underground, hiding in their iPod earphones and Kindles, only to be spat out toward offices and silent commuting trudges. Fear and loathing grips the capital and on the blindside, while the middle classes coo at lidos and bicycles, and the working classes baulk at rent, the foxes are taking over.
It all starts with people dribbling fondly at foxes on tubes and such, but this is clearly a tactic of gaining trust by the bushy tailed vermin. They’ve been plotting and they’re going to frighten you witless, ’til you move out or stay indoors, paralysed by fear.
And the latest attack by ol’ foxy is a mugging. That’s right. A fox has mugged a woman and made off with her shopping.
Louisa Powers was walking home with her groceries in Sidcup, where the fox appeared and weighed her up as weak and there for the taking. It stopped, looked her in the eye, and let her pass.
Powers recalls: “The fox sniffed my grocery bag and started walking after me. I used my handbag to try and shoo it away, but as I looked around, it was on my heel snarling at me. I ran away, and it jumped up and grabbed the food bag out of my hand, running off with all of my food!”
And this isn’t the first incident of fox-fiendery. Last month, another woman had her handbag stolen by a fox, but clearly mocking us humans, the animal returned the handbag moments later.
With Boris looking out-of-touch and Labour offering no decent challenger, you mark Anorak’s words – the next London mayor will be a fox with a basic grasp of the English language. Then, good citizens, you are doomed.