Journalists go mental and naked on Rihanna’s 777 flight
EVEN though Rihanna is the most annoying popstar on the planet (seriously, we get it – you’ve got a pair of buttocks you’d like us all to see and you will continue to try and make money out of an abusive relationship), even she doesn’t compare to the infuriating potential of a plane filled with Rihanna fans, sycophants and, worst of all, journalists and critics.
And that’s what we’re faced with as RiRi’s latest promotional stunt is to hire a Boeing 777 and fill it with these gasping bastards and take them all over the world. Obviously, the payback is that they’ll all constantly tweet about it and Rihanna gets to look generous. Even Ri joined them on the flight, so you can imagine, anyone who has written anything negative about her will now be a crawling ass-kisser when faced with the popstar herself.
Writer’s are all cowards in the face of fame, see?
However, the Rihanna Plane is seeing some weird behaviour. This seven day, seven country promo tour containes a bunch of starving-hungry and sleep-deprived writers and their mind’s are melting (clearly, if the invited were actually half-decent writers, they would be a permanent state of sleep deprivation and hunger, but obviously, only mewing, spoiled ass-hats got the golden ticket).
One writer wrote about “travel issues and a conspicuous lack of RiRi” and others tweeted that the throng was getting “restless,” had gone into “survival mode” and on the brink of “mutiny.” Or, what they really mean is, ‘we’d like to be the story for once because, when it comes down to it, all writers are shameless self-promoters who can’t stand anyone else having the attention.’
And naturally, Rihanna has barely seen the now-crazed writers. Why would she? Writers are horrible and they smell and they have virtually no social skills. She’s rich, glamorous and can afford good narcotics and a private jet.
Think the ‘journalists suck’ angle is fishing for compliments or hamming it up? Not likely. There’s video evidence of how dreadful they are, showing chanting journalists and an Australian streaking.
VH1Music tweeted: “OMG!!! Streaker runs through Rihanna’s 777 plane – riles up 150 angry journalists #777Tour pic.twitter.com/mofE09tu; Mary Choi tweeted: “BEDLAM on the @rihanna plane and press corp YELLS “save our jobs” and “just one quote.” And screams “B ROLL” to sabotage the doc footage.”
Hark at the bug-eyed writers on Rihanna flight 777, all losing their tiny little minds.
This is what it was supposed to be like, with champagne and air-kisses.
Just think if the real story here ends in a plane crash or the small matter of Rihanna using pandering music writer saps as drug mules.
That would be astounding.