Japanese want to put undercrackers on naked statues
Children themselves are encouraged to go into galleries, surrounded by sexual images of bored looking women, naked-from-the-waist-down hobo-looking blokes and infant arses, which means that art is going to corrupt them, no question. No wonder we’re all dirty minded buggers.
With that, some Japanese people would like to see some decorum in our galleries, namely in the shape of underpants covering up the nether-regions of naked sculptures.
Replicas of the Michelangelo’s ‘David’ and the very famous Venus de Milo were erected (fnarr!) last summer in Okuizumom Western Shimane prefecture. Placed in large public parks, as you’d expect, a lot of children play in the area.
However, locals aren’t impressed with all this art mucking up the place and have worried that these large 16ft replicas – with their giant genitals – will frighten kids half to death.
Town official Yoji Morinaga says:
“It is the first time we have had anything like this in our town. Perhaps people were perplexed. They are statues of unclothed humans, and such pieces of art work are very rare in our area. Some people apparently said the statues might not be good for their children.”
And they’d like them covered up please, because there is clearly nothing more unnatural than a naked human body, with all those hugely unnatural dangly bits and whatnot.
Art? Ban it all. As well as nudity. You shouldn’t even be allowed in the bath with no clothes! Japan are on to something here!