Man beaten to a bloody pulp with a Furby
FURBIES are so cute aren’t they? NO! They’re horrible! With their nasty little limbs, slowly blinking lifeless eyes, chilling little voices and nippy beaks. There is absolutely nothing pleasant about a Furby.
Furthermore, they make excellent improvised weapons, as one American lady showed in Pennsylvania.
Ashley Trimmer is reported to have attacked her boyfriend on Wednesday with one of these ghastly little robot beak-mice.
And it all kicked off because of a post of Facebook.
By the time the police arrived at the scene of the domestic, a house shared by Trimmer and her boyfriend William Ley, they soon discovered that the weapons used weren’t exactly the norm.
Ley informed police that Trimmer first whacked him with a Furby about his face, which caused bleeding, before she set about him with a Sony PlayStation controller. Those old DualShock controllers can take a real beating too. If the po-po left it any longer, he probably would’ve been killed with half a MagnaDoodle and stabbed with a Star Wars figure’s leg.
Trimmer, obviously, found herself getting arrested.
In short, the lesson we’ve learned here is that you shouldn’t trust the kind of monster who willingly owns a Furby. If you have a child who likes the company of one, then putting it bluntly, they’re going to turn into a murderer.
You’ve been warned.