Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat
FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.
The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for letting ridiculous things fall out of his anus-shaped mouth, but bestiality might top the rest.
“I never thought I would fall in love like this with a cat,” Lagerfeld said.
His stupid cat is called Choupette and already lords it up with a life of luxury, but it shouldn’t expect a decent sex life. Lagerfeld once said: “I am a kind of fashion nymphomaniac who never gets an orgasm.”
This awful feline has also starred in a number of Lagerfeld’s photoshoots and promotional campaigns, however, marrying an animal is still illegal, and Karl is disappointed and frustrated about the whole thing.
The cat has its work cut-out. It’ll have to dress up constantly because “sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants.”
So there you have it. This from the man who once said: “I didn’t play with other children.”
Maybe if he’d got out more, he’d might prefer to have a relationship with a human being that went beyond deciding whether they were thin enough or not.
In other news: Coco Chanel was a Nazi.