Joe Kinnear aims to make Newcastle United Division One Champions
JOE Kinnear is back working at Newcastle United. The local paper salutes his appointment (see above). Magpies manager Alan Pardew and chief scout Graham Carr now answer to the man who said in June 2012:
“I would consider something like a director of football post. But I would do that for just one reason and that is to get myself back into full-time management. If I was a director of football and the manager was struggling and got the old tin-tack, I would tell them that I’d take over.”
But do not panic. Kinnear has serenaded his own return by popping up on TalkSPORT radio. He duly mispronounced many names on the Newcastle squad, the pick of which is Greek centre midfielder, “Yohan Kebab”.
He said that Shola Ameobi (“Shola Amamobi”) is at 31 “a young kid who’s getting better and better”.
Kinnear added that he had “been named Manager of the Year three times”. He was LMA Manager of the Year once, back in 1994.
What about his talent spotting? Well, he spoke about his record:
[At Wimbledon] I bought Dean Holdsworth for 50 grand — sold him for £3 million. I sold John Scales for £3 million— he was a free transfer. I sold Robbie Earle for x, y, z. I sold Marcus Gayle, Leonhardsen, Micky Harford, John Hartson, Hans Segers, most of them were [bought in on] free transfers.”
Ask yer dad, kids. Or look it up:
Dean Holdsworth : Signed for £650,000.
John Hartson: Signed for £7.5m.
John Scales: Joined Wimbledon two years before Joe Kinnear arrived.
But let’s not be too harsh. Kinnear’s been away for a while. If his Newcastle come marauding onto the pitch pumped up by Whigfield’s Saturday Night played full blast in the changing room only to be called back for the handshakes and official anthem, it’s not his fault. Things have changed.
Also, the game starts not always at 3pm on Saturday but 1:30pm on Saturday, or 3pm or 4pm on Sunday. Chelsea and Manchester City are recent Champions (no, Joe, not of League Division One – which, incidentally is now called the Championship – but of the Premier League (not Scotland), which used to be called Division 1. Division 1 is now the title of the old 3rd Division.)
Oh, and Alex Ferguson and David Beckham have retired.
Joe Kinnear has worked in football management for seven months in nine years. But he might yet be a top-flight manager of a big club if Pardew gets the tick-tack…