Leads cast in Fifty Shades Of Grey… so start imagining them naked now
GOOD news everybody! The lead roles of Fifty Shades of Grey have been announced! You haven’t heard of them, but no matter, because the main bit of their job is to do a lot of sex, which is nice.
For those who must know, the British Charlie Hunnam and US actress Dakota Johnson will be taking their clothes off and talking to each other with clunky euphemisms, while Mumset tut about it all, before secretly frigging their collective pelvis off.
Author EL James (that’s initials, rather than a Spanish thing going on) revealed the news on Twitter, ending months of speculation that half hoped the naked people would be famous.
If you’re still wondering who Hunnam is, he was in Queer as Folk and is in Sons of Anarchy. Johnson… well… she’s the daughter of Miami Vice star Don, and Melanie Griffith (below) and was in The Social Network.
The movie is scheduled for release in August 2014.
Until then, furious onanists will have to remember that the internet exists and that you don’t have to wait for a film to come out that’s based on a book you spent all year slagging off, despite having no intention of reading it. Still, cocks and boobs eh? Hurray!
Now put ‘em away.