X Factor: cutting Hannah Sheares and Dermot O’Leary’s knob watch
WHY do you watch the X Factor?
Is it to see The Daisy Chains, the trio who told us “Because if just one of us is broken, we don’t work”? Their fans will hope the band reform after the more talented* member Hannah Sheares (* prettiest and thinnest) ditched her pals and went solo a few milliseconds after Gary Barlow had told her: “You have the potential to go far, but on your own.”
Sweet Hannah goes two chances to perform. And she’s not alone. We’d seen Joseph Whelan before. But this time he formed a double act with his young son, who worked the kind of magic Keith Harris used to seek in Orville.
Did you turn into to see any of that? Or is Gary Barlow you thing, the judge who sits bolt upright not daring it seems to tilt his head lest he feel a sudden draft and deliver his judgements as if reviewing cancer patients’ X-rays.
No. The Sun says you tuned in to see “Dermot O’Leary’s super-tight trousers”.
No. He’s not putting on weight. His trousers are too small. As we learn:
It’s not the first time X Factor has appeared to use men’s pants to boost ratings on the ITV1 show. Olly Murs, 2009 runner-up, once complained to The Sun: “I love wearing the suits. It’s just when they give me tight trousers it’s a bit off. I’d rather people were watching me for my voice and not being distracted by my other attributes.”
Yeah. You tuned in to watch a knob.
Same old X Factor…