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Anorak | Kuwait’s gay test gets Qatari World Cup approval: homosexuals can’t play football in face-melting heat

Kuwait’s gay test gets Qatari World Cup approval: homosexuals can’t play football in face-melting heat

by | 13th, October 2013

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KUWAIT has banned entry to gay dancers, ice-skaters, TV talent show judges and footballers. It will test anyone coming into the country for gayness. That includes members of the Gulf Cooperation Council, of which World Cup  hosts Qatar are members. What happens to gay football fans and players heading there, then? Qatar thinks homosexuals are against the law. It locks them up. But will it test all fans?

Of course, what this gay test means is that we will finally know if FIFA president Sepp Blatter is gay, moreover his head of policy Michel Platini, who has a girl’s name, curly hair and is French.

The tests for gayness are even more stringent than that. But they are not infallible. So. There is a Plan B, a sun-scorched portcullis across the moat. Gay people, we know, cannot play football in temperates of 45 degrees C or hotter. At those temperates the gays melt, like the Wicked Witch of the East (a notorious transsexual who knew Dorothy well). Straights laugh in the face of heat exhaustion and chronic dehydration.

Also, gay people don’t approve of slave labour. The people building the main stadium for

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Posted: 13th, October 2013 | In: Sports Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink