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Anorak | Miley Cyrus’s Foam Finger Absorbs Whatver You Toss At It

Miley Cyrus’s Foam Finger Absorbs Whatver You Toss At It

by | 18th, December 2013

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AT Z100’s Jingle Ball 2013 New York, singer Miley Cyrus was dry humped by Santa Claus. A few days later and Miley was once more grinding Santa’s sack at the Hot 99.5 Jingle Ball at Washington DC’s Verizon Center.

And that’s fine. Dolly Parton, who is in real life Cyrus’s godmother and TV grandma, says the singer is in “complete control”. She assures us: “The girl can write, the girl can sing, the girl is smart. But no one would let her grow up, so she thought ‘drastic times call for desperate measures’.”

Previously this year, Cyrus has frotted a giant foam finger, a happening that created the epic Daily Mail headline: “‘She degraded an icon!’ Foam finger inventor Steve Chmelar’s anger as Miley Cyrus ‘misrepresents’ his creation.”

Maybe the foam finger should come with a legal warning stating that it should be use only to point into the upwards direction and is not all that good as an emergency tampon, nose picker or prosthetic hand.

By and large the patriarchy is happy to watch women gyrate and fellate

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Posted: 18th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink