Man Sues Close Up Toothpaste After He Failed To Seduce Women
“WHERE is the Close Up effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years,” says Anthony Olatunfe. He’s using Unilever Nigeria Limited for failing to live up to the promise that brushing with Close Up toothpaste makes you irresistible to women.
“Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my breath. I always brush my teeth with so much Close Up gel to make sure the girls get turned on by my fresh breath as they usually show on TV. “
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I brushed my teeth morning and night. I did everything they instructed. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my toothpaste, as they had instructed to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, when I tried to kiss my boss she slapped me.”
Lagos lawyer and rights activist, Barrister Festus Keyamo said: “Unilever might be tempted to argue that Anthony is too ugly to attract a girl, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact, some of the best-looking women have been known to date and marry absolutely unattractive guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.”
Unilever has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice.