England To Have A World Cup Song Befitting How Dull They’ll Play
ANYONE who saw England play against Denmark last night or, indeed, have ever seen England play in any tournament of any kind, will know that everyone’s going to be treated to some spectacularly dull football.
In Brazil, it is pretty obvious that the English will wilt like old salad in the tropical heat. It’ll be a marvel if they even get out of their group, which features Luis Suarez’s Uruguay, the mighty Italy and Costa Rica.
With England’s Crapenaccio on offer, we need a song that will befit England’s laboured performances.
So step forward Gary Barlow – the dowdiest of popstars – alongside Mel C and Emma Bunton, Kimberley Walsh and Gary Lineker – who together, will record England’s official 2014 FIFA World Cup single.
You’ll note that the assembled singing squad features likeable people, but not one of them the star of the show. It’s hardly a supergroup, but rather, a Wednesday Night League Cup Second Round Match Team. Together, they’ll do a reworking of Take That’s ‘Greatest Day’. While that’s not a dreadful song by any means, it’s all a bit ‘adult pop’ isn’t it? Not exactly a rallying call or something that will put oxygen in your blood and fire in your belly.
It’s all a bit… meh.
There’s a load of other people involved in the project too, and not one of them designed to excite a single human on the planet – away from gossip columnists who like taking photos of popstar’s legs.
Also ran/starring are Conor Maynard, Eliza Doolittle and Pixie Lott, as well as Geoff Hurst, Dion Dublin, Gary Pallister, Kenny Sansom, Carlton Palmer, David Seaman, Gary Mabbutt, Michael Owen, Glenn Hoddle, Peter Shilton and Martin Keown. Katy B is also featuring who is actually a bit great, but she’ll be drowning in beige.
We can only hope Dion Dublin brings a bloody ‘Dube’ with him.
Anyway, the record will be released in time for the 2014 FIFA World Cup this summer and the video is set to premiere during Sport Relief, which airs on BBC One later this month (Friday, March 21st).