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Anorak | Man Carrying Adult Nappy And Can Of Skol Attempting Coitus With Cow And Sheep By Tottenham Hotspur Training Ground Evades Jail

Man Carrying Adult Nappy And Can Of Skol Attempting Coitus With Cow And Sheep By Tottenham Hotspur Training Ground Evades Jail

by | 7th, March 2014

“THIS is a case which as far as I am concerned is unique,” Judge Patrick James Patrick told Paul Lovell at Wood Green Crown Court. He tells the jurors to stop giggling.

Mr Lovell, 61, is accused of attempting coitus with a sheep, having earlier failed to seduce a cow in a field next to Tottenham Hotspur’s new training ground.

Lawrence Stephen, 23, was picnicking with his girlfriend. He witnessed the scene: 

“The way he was walking around the field, I could tell that he felt like he was the only person in the field. He seemed like he was very comfortable with what he was doing – as if it was normal. He was trying to thrust his waist towards the cows and using his hands to get the cow’s mouth towards his crotch. I can’t remember him forcing the cow – he wasn’t actually grabbing the cow, but he was trying what he could.”

Mr Lovell then looked for a new conquest. He was holding a can of Skol and a Sainsbury’s bag containing

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Posted: 7th, March 2014 | In: Strange But True Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink