The Goonies Are To Return… Which No-One Really Wants
NOSTALGIA is a wonderful thing, provided you keep it where it is. 30somethings who have gone back to watch old cartoons they loved as kids are often found sobbing, depressed lumps sat in waterless baths, feeling cheated and hurt, like they’d summoned up a repressed abuse at the hands of school bullies.
Of course, some things stand the test of time, if you don’t pick at it. The Mysterious Cities of Gold is still oddly deep and perfect, but a redux of it would be like taking a great shit on the one meal that reminds you of the glory of your childhood.
And now, the director of The Goonies, Richard Donner, has said a sequel to The Goonies is in the works.
Donner said that he’s hoping to bring back all the original stars of the 80s classic, which means looking at Corey Feldman’s ravaged face, the handsome Josh Brolin and whoever else was in it.
Naturally, Feldman has been championing the project for a while now, but he’s got to have something to focus on when he’s not looking like a raw string of sausages, making dubious claims about Michael Jackson and being in a dodgy band (no, seriously).
So how has this all come about? Well, while Donner was signing some autographs, someone asked him about the spate of new superhero films and would he be making another comicbook movie? He said: “If you call The Goonies a comic book – we’re doing a sequel.” And would any of the original cast be in it? “Hopefully all of them.”
You’d assume a scenario of “…and son” here, with the original cast seeing their children running off for thrills and spills while searching for pirate treasure and whatnot. You can also assume that the original charm of the movie will be removed in favour of dicky 3D and CGI effects, not to mention some wry nods to the original film for the adults.
It is going to be awful isn’t it?