Strange News, Politics, Sport, and Celebrity on the Anorak
Splash News on Michael Jackson’s death - “It’s like the FA Cup final”
Jade Goody Wishes Osama Bin Laden Well
THOSE planning fro the death of Jade Goody should know that she is planning her funeral.
Nothing should explain her as much as her passing and, as the Sun notes, Jade wants:
“I want people to cry over me!”
Over in the Mirror, and Jayde says:
“There are people out there who think I deserve to be sick and to die, but I’d never wish this on anyone, not even Bin Laden, not that he has a womb.”
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids, War On Terror | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody Wants Daily Mirror Readers To Tell The Kids
“HOW DO I TELL THE KIDS?” asks Jade Goody on the Mirror’s foremost news page.
Jade speaks not only of all the world’s children, but specifically of her own. Jade wants to know how to tell her children she has cancer. And the Mirror wants its readers to help.
Posted: 27th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Gordon Brown Should Have Married Jade Goody
ALONGSIDE news that Gordon Brown used his address to Labour Party conference to talk about himself and say that we was not a celebrity, and talk about “the real me” some more, is a picture of Jade Goody.
One cannot help but feel that had Brown employed Jayyde as his warm-up act rather than his functional wife Sarah, he might have received a fillip in the polls.
Might Jade Goody do for beige Brown what Sarah Palin has done for grey John McCain in the US: distract voters from looking at him?
Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Gordon Brown, Jade Goody, Politicians | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
“I’M IN pain but I won’t tell my boys,” says Jade Goody in the news of the World.
Better, perhaps, Jade’s little pork balls read it themselves, or learn it from one of their classmates whose mum or dad reads the NOTW.
As ever celebrity cancer-victim Jade Goody has an epithet. Having been, “Crack” Jade Goody, “BRAVE Jade Goody,” and “WEEPING Jade Goody”, she now appears as “SOBBING Jade Goody”.
Jade has enjoyed a type of fame for some years now but still the papers resist calling her “TROUBLED Jade Goody”. How she has tried to attain the ultimate qualifier, but it stubbornly remains the preserve of for A-listed like Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse.
Posted: 21st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody’s Bicycle Tour And Bombshell News
JADE Goody ‘the Hoody’ appears on the Sun’s front page to tell readers about her “NEW HOPE”.
Jade says that since her hysterectomy she thinks doctors are wicked and wants to team up with Dr Grame Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor and cycle round the country promoting Goody news and Goody tidings.
Before that, though, “BRAVE” Jade Goody is pictured crying while the paper’s Colin Robertson tells readers that “one of the biggest upsets in her cancer battle is facing up to the fact that she will never have a daughter.”
No little Jade. For shame!
Posted: 15th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The One About The Hadron Collider And Jade Goody
WHAT have the Hadron Collider and Jade Goody got in common? Satan?
Fergus Shanahan and the Sun put their minds to it:
Says Shanahan (Sun deputy editor): “What would you miss most if the world ends tomorrow”?
Shanahan says he would least miss Jade Goody, who might have just ten years to live…
Read extracts from Goody’s new book in the, er, Sun…
Jack’s rages left me sobbing and shaking with fear
This would be the same Jack Tweed billed as Jade’s rock? And this would be “brave” Jade?
Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
SURELY a misprint on the Sun’s front page: “JADE TOOK CRACK.” Might the front-page headline read: “JADE TOOK CRACKLING?”
But no.
The story is that porcine Jade has “sensationally confessed to taking crack cocaine”. The still bigger shock is that she didn’t enjoy it. Oh no. she did it to “shock her mum out of her own addiction to the deadly drug”.
Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Jade Goody Decade: The Ten-Year Plan And An Indian Take-Away
“I FEAR MY CANCER’S SPREAD,” says the Jade Goody-inspired headline on the Mirror’s cover.
This is not a metaphorical tabloid cancer, and right now millions of youths are not racially abusing Asians for our entertainment. This is real cancer. This is Jade Goody’s celebrity cancer.
News is that doctors have warned Goody that she “could have less than 10 years to live”.
Ten years..?
Posted: 4th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody’s Checks Her Tweed Rock
MORE on the tabloids “brave” Jade Goody turning into “tearful” Jade Goody.
Jade is shedding a tear for Jack Tweed, her “rock”, jailed for basalt (geddit?).
Jade is clutching supplies for her man on the inside: razors, a toothbrush and trainers.
Facts. You want more facts. Can you handle the facts? Here goes:
“Later Jade is believed to have met her doctor to discuss her cancer treatment.”
Facts.
Posted: 3rd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
FROM Brave Jade Goody, Jade Goody is transformed to “weeping Jade Goody” on the Sun’s front page.
What brought brave Jade to tears? Why, the news that her on-ish/off-ish lover and Big Brother tag-tem bully Jack Tweed has been jailed.
Posted: 2nd, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody’s Intelligence Insulted And Jack Tweed In Court
MORE on the tabloids’ Brave Jade Goody:
Jade Goody has a form of cancer. The tabloids have dubbed her brave. Says Jade on GMTV:
“They did a belly scan and everything was fine, even my blood, so they said to me it was either a bad period or stress.”
A kebab?
“In the end I began to feel really frustrated, like they were insulting my intelligence, I thought they thought I was being a hypochondriac and lying about it.”
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Police Log, TV & Radio | Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Brave Jade Goody Goes Bravely, Like An Indian
JADE Goody is now officially “brave”.
In “BIG BRAVERY”, Jade is seen relaxing in front of the cameras with one of her children.
Jade is bravely sitting on a horse, a beast which might also be termed brave.
And then Jade is sitting on a brave chair in a brave field, bravely…
Posted: 1st, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody: My Cancer, Lorraine Kelly And The Sun’s Campaign
IT’S Jade Goody ‘The Hoody’.
She’s on the Sun’s cover. Her face is mess of tears. Says the headline: “DOCTORS SAID I’D BE DEAD IN 3 MONTHS.”
Some people can be so unforgiving, especially doctors. Granted, at the apogee of her notoriety, death threats against the Goody person were common but now she has cancer, can we lay off her?
Sun columnist Lorraine Kelly wonders: “When did a cancer diagnosis become fit for TV viewing?”
Posted: 23rd, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (37) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Jade Goody’s Cancer Agent
JADE Goody The Hoody has a form of cancer. She is told the news on the telly. “What’s wrong?” ask her housemates on India’s Big Brother. Says Jade, as recorded by the Sun:
“I can not tell you because my agent needs to tell my family. I need my family to know first.”
It’s a paradox wrapped in a kebab…
Posted: 20th, August 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comments (28) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody Victim Of Sick Indian Big Brother Stunt?
JADE Goody has cervical cancer. Or as the Economic Times of India puts it: “Jade Goody detected with cancer.”
If there was one area of Jady Goody’s life yet to be exposed it was her cervix. But now that gap in her CV has been plugged.
Posted: 19th, August 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comments (39) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Poppa Dumb: Shilpa Greets Jade Goody In India
JADE Goody is to enter the Big Brother house in India, slowing the local that there former colonial overlords have evolved from the stiff-upper-lipped, subjugating and jingoistic ninnies of old to something altogether less pleasant.
Shilpa Shetty, aka Shilpa Poppadom, who encountered Goody The Hoody on Celebrity Big Brother is now retuned to “where she come from”, as Danielle Lloyd advised.
Posted: 18th, August 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Danielle Lloyd, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Big Brother 9: Jade Goody Burgled
JADE Goody ‘The Hoody’ has been burgled.
With Big Brother 9 looming like a street mugger on heat, this is the last headline-making thing poor Jade needed.
Jade hears a noise. Says Jade: “I went to investigate with Batman, but there was no one there.”
Batman is a dog.
“I dread to think what would have happened if the thieves had still been in the house,” she tells the Sun. “I’m just glad my two boys weren’t at home.”
The robbers got away with £56,000 worth of jewellery – including a diamond-encrusted bangle, 5 designer watches and a Tiffany necklace, all available from Asda’s range of gold effects.
Says a source: “Her bedroom was a mess and there were muddy footprints everywhere.”
So no harm done, then…
“Her bedroom was a mess and there were muddy footprints everywhere.”
Posted: 30th, May 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade’s Show: Jade Goody Returns To TV
NEWS of Jade Goody in the Sun. And the news is that Jade is being lined up for a return to frontline telly work,
“TELLY bosses” at Living TV are said to be looking at news ideas for Goody.
So far, the channel has featured Jade’s Salon (a search for Jade’s beauty salon) and Jade’s PA (a search for Jade’s assistant).
New ideas include:
Jade’s Bile (a camera is implanted inside Jade’s bile duct and Jade’s gut reaction is gauged as she is confronted by people of different creeds and colours)
Jade’s Buttons (Jade Goody opens her heart and her button box and tells an interesting story behind each button. In show one Jade returns to Faces nightclub in Essex and recalls losing a brown button in a fracas with Danielle Lloyd)
Posted: 20th, May 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Sun Was Hotter Jade Goody Was A Star
JADE GOODY has been involved in a “nightclub brawl”, or a “nasty catfight”.
A spokesperson for Jade later insisted “she had NOT been asked to leave the club”. Sun readers learn that “Jade was a victim of an unprovoked attack by another girl. She tried to defend herself and was not asked to leave.”
The Sun has the scoop; its news following the front-page thoughts of Omar Bakri and musings on McCartney and Mills.
It all adds up to the Sun’s nostalgia special. Very soon the paper will be published by a rheumy-eyed robot pressing F9 on the keyboard and creating an organ from bits of editions past…
Posted: 25th, March 2008 | In: Big Brother TV, Celebrities, Jade Goody, TV & Radio, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Jade Goody Meets Jeremy Beadle
JEREMY Beadle is stood by Jade Goody.
“Jade Goody, You’ve been Beadled,” says the Sun. It’s a “homage” to “stunt king” Beadle, “TV’s greatest prankster”.
Beadle has been buried. But there is a remembrance service to come ,and who knows if that will be the cue for Beadle to pop up and say “Gotcha!”.
The Sun’s Beadle tribute sees two pretend coppers arrive at Jade’s Essex home. All eyes are on her Bentley car.
“Don’t tell me I’ve bought a stolen car – it’s not one of them car that’s been stuck together with another one is it?” asks Jade.
We look at the car, which appears as a composite blend of its bits of Volvo, Rolls Royce and fleet BMW.
“Are you familiar with the term cut and shut?” asks DI Dickens. (This is a real actor and not one of the UK’s celebrity coppers.)
Jade wonders. Is that when you say ‘Shut yer mahf or I’ll cut yer?’ “Oh no,” says Jade.
Jade is worried. And then the picture of Jeremy Beadle pops up from behind a bush. “Jade Goody, you’ve been Beadled.”
And everyone falls about laughing…
Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jade Goody, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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