Scare Stories Category
“In humans, the effects of marijuana on testosterone and estrogen levels aren’t as clear. Lower testosterone levels have been reported in chronic marijuana users compared to nonusers, but not all studies support this.”
DOES sugar make your children hyper? No:
The BBC agreed:
The theory that too much sugar makes children hyperactive doesn’t stand up to the tests – it may be that the environment your child is in is the defining factor in how boisterous their mood is. This doesn’t mean sugar get’s off lightly though. It may not lead to hyperactivity but it does make your blood sugar drop which could make your children irritable and distracted.
Or as the wife of The Education Minister says in her column (you can keep the writing gig Sarah Vine as long as Gove keeps his job):
DATELINE: Wednesday November 6, 2013…. French Killer Rats Invade the UK.
Nation gripped by panic.
Russia offers to send over mutant killer cats “to help”.
SCARE story of the summer is not foxes or sharks: it’s wolves. The Daily Mail Reporter has news:
The wolf’s at the door: First killer beast turns up in Holland for 150 years sparking fears they may soon arrive in Britain
Amid the welter of facts – “When chasing prey, they run at around 40mph; They listen to their prey’s heartbeat from several metres away with their uncannily powerful hearing and can judge when it is petrified; They are also highly intelligent” – there is no news how they can swim or hide in the back of a family hatchback on a Continental ferry.
PHEW! Cancel the opiates and Prozac. The Daily Mail has news on pregnant women and stress relief:
Mums-to-be ‘CAN have a glass of wine a day without harming their child’s development’
Who gave them permission?
Having a glass of wine a day during pregnancy may not harm the child’s development, claim researchers. A large new study says the children of mothers who drank ‘moderately’ in pregnancy actually grew up to have better balance than those who abstained.
WHAT is the cure for High blood pressure. On April 4, 2013, the Daily Express led with “CURE FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE”. The paper had “five easy steps can keep the kill condition”.
Keeping active, slashing salt intake, eating a healthy diet with plenty of fruit and vegetables, cutting down on alcohol and not smoking all cut the chances of developing the deadly condition.
Salt intake. But Joe Willey had already told readers on July 6, 2011:
Salt is safe to eat – and cutting our daily intake does nothing to lower the risk of suffering from heart disease
HOW media works: Zoe Brennan wants readers of Mumsnet to help her with a story:
I am writing a feature for The Daily Mail about the increase in the number of children being sent to A&E. Figures released earlier this week show an increasing number of youngsters are sent direct to hospital, because GPs are reluctant to treat children. Babies in particular. This means long waits, and inappropriate care. Has your child been sent to A&E with a common infection or minor injury by your GP or NHS Direct? Have you an opinion on this subject, as a parent?
FIRST the good news:
“Using publicly available data from NASA’s Kepler space telescope, astronomers at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics (CfA) have found that six percent of red dwarf stars have habitable, Earth-sized planets. Since red dwarfs are the most common stars in our galaxy, the closest Earth-like planet could be just 13 light-years away.”
THE Daily Mail wants to talk to you about wine. On January 25, the warning was that you women are going to die from drink:
IT has to be the Mail reporting this, doesn’t it? But here it is, the shocking news that UK cereals contain more sugar than US cereals.
Breakfast cereals sold in Britain contain as much as 30 per cent more sugar than the same products in the United States.
THE Daily Express has a question: “DO CANCER ALTERNATIVES REALLY WORK?”
Well, if alternatives did work surely people suffering from the hideous disease would use them, no? Or is the medical profession so stubbon and stupid that it does not consider alternative “remedies” in the face of proof that they work? Jane Warren reports:
THE YOUNG mother who disappeared with her seven-year- old son to prevent him receiving cancer treatment for a brain tumour was motivated by an understandable desire not to see him suffer any more than he needs to, says the seven-year-old boy’s father.
After a frantic nationwide search both Neon and Sally Roberts have now been found and the youngster has been temporarily placed in protective care and will be given the emergency treatment he needs.
SCARE story of the day appear in the Daily Mail, natch., wherein we are told:
“Playground children having more accidents because parents are too busy playing on their smartphones”
Yep. It’s a story about other parents being bad parents. We love ‘em.
Internet porn and the rape suspects aged 10
This is a:
“New fear for young after 24 police forces arrest under-13s for sex crimes in a year.”
HURRICANE Sandy was bad. Can it be made worse? Watch out for the…
Lynne Peeples spots rats:
…storm waters from Hurricane Sandy flood rats out of their underground residences, according to Rick Ostfeld of the Cary Institute of Ecosystem Studies in Milbrook, N.Y.
“Rats are incredibly good swimmers,” said Ostfeld. “And they can climb.” In other words, Sandy is unlikely to knock off the resilient rodents, but rather displace them.
According to Ostfeld, this could result in increased risk of infectious diseases carried by urban rats, including leptospirosis, hantavirus, typhus, salmonella, and even the plague. “One of things we know can exacerbate disease is massive dispersal,” he added. “Rats are highly social individuals and live in a fairly stable social structure. If this storm disturbs that, rats could start infesting areas they never did before.”
ONE of the things we’re often told about climate change is that the increasing heat will bring back malaria. As temperatures rise then the mozzies that carry it will be able to live further north and thus we’ll all die aiieeeee!
Nathan Rao tells Express readers:
CHIPS served in many fast-food outlets and restaurants could contain a cancer-causing chemical, worrying research reveals.
The picture used to illustrate Rao’s refried news is of a woman smiling broadle as she holds up a chip on a spear, doubtless relived and elated to have snared the quarry before it could infect anyone with cancer (see left).
Scientists have found that the portions enjoyed by millions every day include acrylamide – which has been linked to cancer because of the cooking process.
WINTER is coming. And that means swine flu. Be afraid. In 1976, you were very afaird. And Dotty – poor, poor Dotty. Well, she died:
THE Daily Mail tells us that the gays are taking more drugs than the rest of us:
Gay people are seven times more likely to take illegal drugs than the general population, a new study conducted over two years has found. And one in five show signs of dependency on drugs or alcohol. The report, conducted by the Lesbian and Gay Foundation (LGF) and the University of Central Lancashire, sampled more than 4,000 people over two years.
SCARE Stories: Each week the Daily Mail seeks out new ways for you fall ill and die. This week the Mail made us miserable with:
“MINISTER FOR DEATH” – Melanie Phillips profiles Anna Soubry MP
“Are super-size clothes making children fatter?”
“Why do you just HATE some women on sight?”
YOU cannot argue with science. A look at academic research tells us:
Between 2010 and 2099, climate change will cause an additional 30,000 murders, 200,000 cases of rape, 1.4 million aggravated assaults, 2.2 million simple assaults, 400,000 robberies, 3.2 million burglaries, 3.0 million cases of larceny, and 1.3 million cases of vehicle theft in the United States.
* “New couples who delay sex longest are happiest”
Ergo: Couples you shag from the off are the unhappiest
* “Killer virus warning for British tourists to Yosemite”
THE Daily Mail is here to help with your alcohol content:
On 7 September 2011, thee news was that two drinks a day was great. Then on May 31, 2012, the Mail told readers that three glasses a week was the limit.
WHEN the Daily Mail thundered”PAINKILLER ‘SABOTAGED – Animal rights protestors suspected of tampering with Nurofen” we blanched. Time to toss away those over-the-counter pain relief capsules. This sounded serious. The Mail added: “‘Saboteur’ puts up to 500,000 powerful anti-psychotic drugs in packets of Nurofen Plus sold in the UK.”
The paper warned us:
“Dangerous anti-psychotic drugs may have been deliberately placed in thousands of packets of Nurofen Plus by animal rights activists, it emerged last night… It is suspected militant activists carried out the sabotage operation with the intention of damaging Nurofen Plus’s makers, Reckitt Benckiser. The company may have been targeted because it tests its products on animals.”
NEWSWEEK says al Qaeda has an explosives expert called Ibrahim al-Asir. He and some top medics, who might not have taken the Hippocratic Oath, are creating bombs that can be stitched inside suicide bombers. This way, the killers will be able to get past airport scanners. Newsweek fails to say where the tapers will be in these cartoonish bombers, but menstruating woman might not make the most reliable mules.
We are told:
An American government source familiar with the report described it as 15 to 20 pages, single spaced, and replete with schematics and pictures. “It was almost like something you’d see in Scientific American,” the source said. (In military parlance, the bomb is called a “surgically implanted improvised explosive device,” or SIIED.) A diagram with arrows and blocks of text explained the surgical process. “The idea was to insert the device in the terrorist’s love handle,” says the U.S. government source, who declined to be named discussing sensitive intelligence. While it was not clear whether the terror doctors had ever succeeded in implanting explosives in a human being, they had experimented with dogs and other animals.
Fortunately these devices are easier to describe than to detonate. “You would have to have a very unique firing system,” says Borelli. “If it’s a ‘body bomb’ you are going to have to have a way to initiate it from the outside—almost a stent, or something like a pacemaker.”