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FRITZL Watch: Anorak’s look at Josef Fritzl, Elisabeth Fritzl, Nazis and assorted Frtizls in the news
Josef Fritzl, who locked his daughter in a cellar dungeon for 24 years, has asked permission to leave his prison cell after admitting he can no longer stand being cooped up.
Posted: 12th, July 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Josef Fritzl | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
FRITZL Watch: Anorak’s look at Josef Fritzl, Elisabeth Fritzl, Nazis and assorted Fritzls in the news
EURO 2008 – Who are you not supporting? Today we’re cheering on the Fritzls.
Says the Star:
Fritzl was a big football fan and the secret family he kept locked in his cellar in Austria also grew to love following the game on TV.
But, although Austria is hosting the tournament with Switzerland, his daughter Elisabeth and the six children Fritzl fathered with her had been banned from watching live telly.
Because:
Medics issued the order, fearing they would see news reports about themselves.
But Austria never progressed to the tournament’s latter stages, and for them ze competition vas over when zer Germans routed them at Ernst Happel Stadium.
“Shot-shy Austria frustrate coach,” says the BBC. “Germany are bombing on,” opined the BBC’s Mark Lawrenson, although on whom was not said.
The Beeb never got time to mention the Fritzls, but had Austria progressed to the quarter-finals it surely would have…
Posted: 23rd, June 2008 | In: Back pages, Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
“CELLAR coma girl wakes after seven weeks after being played Robbie Williams songs,” says the Mail.
Josef Fritzl’s granddaughter and daughter Kerstin Fritzl has woken from her two-month coma after being played Robbie Williams songs, says the Mail.
There seems to be something intolerably cruel in playing Robbie Williams to a comatose patient, and we would say it were further evidence of innate Austrian barbarity and how Williams is just a shorter Richard Wagner in knickers.
Sadly, the Mail’s headline is somewhat undone by Doctor Albert Reiter, who says Kerstin opened her eyes naturally from her medically-induced coma
He tells us: “We smiled at her and she smiled back. One night I had to order her to finally go to sleep at 3am as she kept listening to Robbie Williams CDs.”
Anorak recalls another coma incident, this one starring Geri Halliwell who performed unplugged for Jessica Knight: “Geri sang a couple of lines of one of their songs and Jessica started moving her arms and legs,” said mum Jill Walmsley in the Mirror.
Legs twitching, arms flailing – a desperate bid to run away?
In light of these star-led miracles, Anorak has put together a tape of the Top Ten Celebrity Coma Tracks – EVER!
1. Let Me Entertain You - Robbie Williams
2. Candle In The Wind - Elton John
3. Carrie - Cliff Richard
4. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
5. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles
6. We Didn’t Start the Fire – Billy Joel
7. Cotton Eye Joe – Rednex
8. The Final Countdown – Europe
9. You’re the Inspiration – Chicago
10. I Wanna Know What Love Is - Foreigner
SERVING TIP:
The album should be played down headphones to the patient at full volume. Every three hours a medic – preferable one with an Austrian accent, although a Swiss or German will do - should bend down and whisper in the patient’s ear: “Want to wake up? Or do you want some more…?
Posted: 12th, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Madeleine McCann: Fact Checking The Truth About Maddie McCann And Ben Affleck’s Fiction As Fact
MADDIE WATCH - Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann
Ben Affleck has a new panic film – Gone Baby Gone - in which the lead child is blonde enough to remind all reviewers of Madeleine McCann. The film – a work of fiction - cannot be mentioned without also making mention of missing Madeleine.
It is the 12th Rule of Journalism.
THE OBSERVER: “The cruellest crime of all -Delayed by the McCann case, Ben Affleck’s intense and gripping thriller is well worth the wait”
Crimes involving children touch on our deepest emotions and though we’ve seen numerous films about infant abduction over the past 50 years, ranging in tone from Seance on a Wet Afternoon to Murder on the Orient Express, the subject is peculiarly affecting at the moment in the light of the publicity given to the cases of Shannon Matthews in Dewsbury and Madeleine McCann in Portugal… To add to the anxiety, there is an uncanny physical resemblance between Madeleine McCann and the film’s four-year-old Amanda McCready.
It’s tabloid bingo, in the broadsheet Observer! Can anyone mention Fritzl and get the prize?
IRISH INDEPENDENT: “It’s a film that examines the media hysteria and prurience that happens when children are abducted — especially pertinent themes in our post-Madeleine post-Austrian crazies times.”
Posted: 8th, June 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Josef Fritzl, Madeleine McCann, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fritzl Watch: Big Brother 9, Love Letters And Nazis
FRITZL Watch: Anorak’s look at Josef Fritzl, Elisabeth Fritzl, Nazis and assorted Frtizls in the news
BRIAN Reade: “AUSTRIAN doctors trying to make the Fritzl kids feel better about themselves. Why not feed them 24-hour footage of Big Brother 9 to show them there are worse holes they could have been trapped in?”
SYDNEY MORNING HERALD: “Fritzl, who locked his daughter in a cellar for 24 years and fathered seven children with her, has received over 200 letters from lonely women offering him romance”
DIGITAL JOURNAL: A Canadian site championing “Citizen journalism”
So far, Fritzl has received about 5,000 love letters. But, it has been revealed that Fritzl has received hundreds of love letters from lonely women looking for love. Yes, there are lonely women looking to receive love from Josef Fritzl.
HARD NEWS (India): Painful memories of Nazi Germany
Posted: 5th, June 2008 | In: Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fritzl Watch: Global Warming Is Like Child Rape
FRITZL Watch: Anorak’s look at Josef Fritzl, Elisabeth Fritzl, Nazis and assorted Frtizls in the news
DAILY TELEGRAPH: “Global warming inertia ‘as bad’ as Josef Fritzl, says Bishop of Stafford”
People who fail to act over global warming are “as guilty” as Josef Fritzl - denying our children a future, a senior Anglican bishop has warned.
The Bishop of Stafford, the Rt Rev Gordon Mursell, said a refusal to face the truth about climate change was akin to locking up future generations and “throwing away the key”.
But with global warming, won’t the cellars flood?
Writing in his local parish magazine delivered across the Diocese of Lichfield, the bishop says: “Josef Fritzl represents merely the most extreme form of a very common philosophy of life: I will do what makes me happy, and if that causes others to suffer, hard luck.
“In fact you could argue that, by our refusal to face the truth about climate change, we are as guilty as he is - we are in effect locking our children and grandchildren into a world with no future and throwing away the key.”
He tells the paper:
Posted: 2nd, June 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Global Warming, Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Austria’s Got Talent: Natascha Kampusch Meets…
WELCOME to Austria’s Got Talent, and say hello to Elisabeth Fritzl, who spent years living in a cellar, skiier Michaela Dorfmeister and…
Oh for those halcyon days when the names of internationally known Austrians tripped off the tongue like ack-ack fire.
Natascha Kampusch, a post-war Austrian famous not for skiing, so therefore chiefly known for living in a cellar - eight years, folks! - has her work cut out finding notable Austrians to talk to on her new TV chat show.
In ‘Natascha Kampusch meets…’ the show’s producers discount those elderly gentlemen living in Paraguay and see the star of the show chew the fat with Niki Lauder, the former Austrian F1 racing champion best known for being horribly burnt in an accident at the 1976 German Grand Prix.
Posted: 1st, June 2008 | In: Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Fritzl Watch: Fritzl Kids Flee Austria For UK
“CELLAR KIDS MOVE TO UK,” says the Star, which leads with news that Josef Fritzl’s family are to relocate to Blighty.
“Sex slave mum wand family get secret new lives,” says the Star. And why the UK? Well, “because people here have been most sympathetic to their plight”.
And the UK is ideal because: “It is also unlikely they will choose a hot country because of their sensitive skin and eyes.” The Fritzl story is now a British story, and so worthy of the tabloids’ front page.
The Star says that in Nazi-stained Austria the family has been “hounded by the media”, something that would never happen here.
“EXCLUSIVE,” says the Sun, “BRITISH FRITZL’S VILE CRIMES.”
Posted: 27th, May 2008 | In: Josef Fritzl, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
