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Posts Tagged ‘David Luiz’

Former Chelsea player finds cure for baldness

Former Chelsea player David Luiz is worried about going bald. He’s been researching how it can be prevented. Short of dying young with his ringlets still inserted in his scalp, he could do as as other have done and walk about Los Angeles with a hat on for some months, enjoying the city where the likes of fellow beanie hat wearers Brad Pitt and David Beckham hang out. It is an established fact that anyone wearing a beanie hat in the LA sunshine is prevented from every going bald. See also: being in The Rolling Stones.

But David Luiz had found a new method. Speaking in an interview with Journal du Dimanche, PSG’s Brazilian centre-half announced:

I know I look crazy but I am not! It is just hair… Yes, my father is bald. But I found a way to save my hair.

I met with a doctor in Brazil, who has developed a special treatment. It takes some cells from here (your hip) and then relocates then.

I will do it. In ten years it will be the solution for people who have lost their hair. You should try it!

Nice of David to offer everyone cells form his hop, but best to wait until his playing days are open lest he become lopsided and take to running around in circles like the current Chelsea defence.

Posted: 15th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, Reviews, Sports | Comment

Transfer Balls: Chelsea Sell Luiz To Barcelona But Bayern Munich Sign Him



TRANSFER Balls: Compare and contrast the scoops on Chelsea’s David Luiz:

ESPN, May 13, 2014:

Luiz agrees deal with Barcelona

The Times, May 13, 2014:

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Posted: 16th, May 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comment

Chelsea: David Luiz talks about David Luiz the brand


CHELSEA’S David Luiz will now explain what he’s learnt about being a professional footballer:

“Everyone knows who David Luiz is. He (Mourinho) is a manager who wants everyone to work hard, not just David Luiz”

He’s a brand, dammit.

Posted: 26th, September 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Jamie Redknapp: Chelsea’s David Luiz not good enough for Stoke but great for Real Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern Munich

JAMIE Redknapp is the Daily Mail’s worst football pundit. This week, Redknapp told readers:

Jose Mourinho will have sleepless nights about David Luiz’s defending…

Luiz defends for himself with little concern for his partner. He must be a nightmare for John Terry and Gary Cahill…

…in the Premier League he is a liability for his team and too much of a maverick.

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Posted: 17th, September 2013 | In: Sports | Comment (1)