Anorak News | The Irish Rover

The Irish Rover

by | 23rd, June 2003

‘EILEEN has taken the news that Todd’s not sitting his A-levels and not going to university better than expected. By the way he’s walking, he’ll still be able to father children one day.

”Have yous heard the one about the Oirish papstar who joined a soap?”

She restricted herself to simply throwing him out of the house and a small catfight in the street with Sarah Lou.

Todd is determined to make a life for himself though and has got himself a job as a hospital cleaner and next week he moves into the flat above the bookies.

Since the only person on the Street to have a degree is Ken Barlow and he was a supermarket trolley-stacker, it’s not really surprising Todd decided he was wasting his time.

Everyone’s least favourite Irish stereotype, Ciaran, is back. He burst into Sunita’s flat just as Dev was about to propose marriage. ”Jeysus and Begorrah! ‘Tis marvellous to be to back to yer arms me love,” he told a startled Sunita and Dev.

Both Ciaran and Dev are prepared to fight dirty to win Sunita’s hand: Dev admitted that he’d hidden a letter Ciaran had written her and Ciaran pretended to Dev that he’d slept with Sunita the night she let him sleep on her sofa.

Sunita admitted to Bev that she’s finding it hard to chose between them and, let’s face it, there isn’t much that separates the pair of selfish, sexist pigs, is there?

There’s more heartache in store for Karen, who finally realised that Joe never loved her and had only been using her to get at Mike. Karen finally discovered her conscience (down the back of the sofa, probably) and confessed to Mike what she and Joe had been up to.

Mike made her sign a confession and confronted Joe about the bogus company he’d set up. ”Arctec? Do you think I’m stupid? That’s an anagram of Carter.” Joe looked amazed – not least because Mike knew what the word ‘anagram’ meant.

Karen caught up with Joe as he was clearing out of the flat. ”You never loved me, did you?” she sobbed. ”Let’s just say you were enjoyable,” he sneered.

Well, what does Karen expect when she advertises her services on the gents’ wall in the Rovers?

Posted: 23rd, June 2003 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink