Anorak News | Out Of Order

Out Of Order

by | 26th, June 2003

”’I CAN’T do anything if the crowd f***ing call it. Absolutely f***ing ridiculous. At least replay the point. F***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous.

”I’m telling you, man. She’s as thin as a f***ing rake”

”It’s f***ing ridiculous. F***ing ridiculous. Some w**ker in the crowd changes the whole match. Well done. Well done. Absolutely sh*t.”

Thanks to the Independent for reproducing that tirade, as delivered by Greg Rusedski to an incredulous and unapologetic umpire as he slumped to defeat at Wimbledon.

The key question now for Rusedski is what fine he will earn for his outburst. Staying with the Independent, readers learn that the maximum fine under All England Club rules is $10,000.

Which is about $426 per asterisk.

Of course, it is not right and proper to make light of so public a fit, but Rusedski was, as the Times says, incensed by a voice calling ”out” from the vicinity of the line judge when the ball was in.

Rusedski lost the point to Andy Roddick and a considerable amount of his cool. And with that went the any hope of salvaging the match.

Back to more important Wimbledon matters, the Times watches Daniela Hantuchova, the No.9 seed, lose to Shinobu Asagoe 12-10 in the deciding set.

”My God, she’s thin,” is the assessment of the Slovakian’s performance by the paper’s resident tennis watcher.

”She’s about an inch wide,” says Alison Kervin. ”She weighs less than a feather.” Her arms are so tiny they ”look almost doll-like”.

Alison really knows her tennis. And one question remains to be answered: ”Why would an athlete allow herself to become so terrifying thin?”

Answer: To allow the likes of Alison Kelvin and fat women to talk about tennis like they know which end of the racket is up.

The papers should stick to what they know about: football. And the Guardian says that Paul Gascoigne has been threatened with legal action by his Chinese club Gansu Tianma.

It seems that Gazza has not been seen in China since football was suspended following the outbreak of the Sars virus.

A representative for the player says his client has not returned because he is in dispute over his pay.

”********* ***** ******* ****,” he said.

Posted: 26th, June 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink