Anorak News | Monty’s Thumbs-Down

Monty’s Thumbs-Down

by | 18th, July 2003

‘COLIN Montgomerie dramatically pulled out of golf’s British Open championship yesterday after injuring his thumb over breakfast.

Ian Woosnam was finally found alive and well in the rough by the 1st hole

However, reports that the burly Scot mistook it for a sausage and tried to eat it are – like Tiger Woods’ first drive – very wide of the mark.

Monty did at least find his thumb, which is more than Tiger could do with his golf ball as he started his quest for a second Open title in disastrous fashion yesterday.

The World No.1 blasted his opening tee-shot 20 yards right of the fairway at Royal St George’s and that was the last he saw of it – until now.

The Sun proudly shows off the ball, which was eventually recovered by course marshal Terry Bennet who trod on it as he walked through the knee-high grass half an hour later.

It does allow the paper to reproduce one of its most famous headlines – ‘Gotcha’ – although readers might be wondering why that is considered the leading sports story of the day.

What with Monty’s sore thumb and Tiger’s errant ball, we have to delve inside the papers before we learn what actually went on in the tournament itself.

And the answer is that the wind blew, making life very difficult for the late starters, although not as difficult as some made it look.

The Express, for instance, takes great delight in recounting (and re-counting) every shot American Jerry Kelly took at the first hole – all 11 of them.

‘It was as cruel as it was compelling,’ the paper says, ‘providing proof to all amateurs that nowhere is there a greater leveller of talent than the golf course.’

In fact, so many shots did Kelly take that it seems to have had an effect on the Express’ maths as the paper claims the score was the highest on the first hole of an Open Championship since 1983 when Bobby Clampett opened up with an, er, eight.

All of which leaves but a little space in which to mourn, along we’re sure with the rest of the country, the news that Alex Ferguson’s pre-season plans are in chaos.

The Star says the Manchester United boss is ready to pull the plug on the Ronaldinho deal unless the Brazilian puts pen to paper tonight.

And Chelsea have pulled out of a move to bring Juan Sebastian Veron to Stamford Bridge. Oh dear!

Posted: 18th, July 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink