Anorak News | The Last Noel

The Last Noel

by | 19th, August 2003

‘LET’S talk about the good things that Noel Edmonds has done. Hmm… For starters, he hasn’t been on television for a few years, not since his House Party was raided by police and ignored by viewers.And he has cultivated the neatest beard in the world. You can stare and stare but you will not find a stray hair on it. Go and try if you must.

And you’re chance to do so comes in today’s Mail where Noel admits for this first time that he has played a key part in the destruction of British telly.

“We tried our damnedest to make it special entertainment,” says Noel, “but I’ll admit I’m a contributor to the decline in TV standards.

“I’m guilty as charged for certain things. I don’t say that with pride. But honestly m’lud I’m not quite so guilty as others. Could I be let of with a caution?”

We’ve taken the liberty of conducting a poll to answer Edmonds’ plea and while 11% of you say a caution is punishment enough, the rest want Edmonds deported to a remote island and then quietly put to sleep.

But he’s not going without a few more words, and he treats us to a gem of an image. Taking of his dreadful House Party, he says: “I was the racing driver with a car that was failing”.

Well, when your vehicle is a man in a fat spotted suit, you can’t expect to get too far. Although the further Edmonds goes the better…’

Posted: 19th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink